A Monkey's Life

Deep Night Thoughts

2011-11-23T02:38:00.001-08:00

I'm laying here still lost in my thoughts. It's been a year that I lost something that was precious to me, that in fact still really is. Still I see it from the distance. I can't ignore it...

...she stands on a hill for all to see, calling attention to herself. Her dress so loose, purposefully flowing in the wind, which in turn caresses its hands through her hair, accidentally dancing with her curls. It becomes the led in an invisible choreography where its force loses power with the compromise of passing through.

She turns and stares at me and smiles. I run to her but an invisible force pushes me back. I suspect it comes from her. How cruel that something so alluring doesn't allow anything near it. So I admire instead. From afar I feel the same winds. I can see its arms and how it runs its cool appendages through the crevices it makes on the long grass below her. These touch her first and then make an attempt to console my cheeks. Fingers that brush my hair and lightly scratch the side of my face. It even rubs below my eyes with its thumbs. Then the force of wind leans itself on my forehead. I give up my power, her faraway silhouette has tired my heart; I can't help but feel weak. I land on my back. My only partner now is the wind, whose force is still pushing itself on me, reassuring me somehow to stay calm.

A whisper in my ear now... Its reminding me of all that's happened. How the girl in the wind isn't for me...

"I pushed her away for you, why do you insist on coming back?"

I lift my head ever so slightly to see her again, and she's farther away now... Now a hug. A cold hug that permeates through my whole raises every hair on my neck.

"I want to be there..."

"No..." said the silent exhale in my ear.

I look up and she is even farther. Her beauty: delights in my eyes, sugar to my pupils, even through the fence of distance.

"Why?" I half scream in sadness.

That's when I notice she wasn't moving away, i was being pushed by the wind. When did he start carrying me?

I fight... I stand up... I run against the current, but it's too strong. For a second i don't even notice the grass blades slicing through my legs, until the cuts start adding up. I fight still...

Why am i so stubborn? Still that's not where I'm supposed to be...

As a last blow to my chest, I raise my eyes, and it is they who now betray me. With a sledgehammer they slam my breath away. Breathless i fall to the floor, incapable of adding up what I've just seen... Now i lay on the floor bleeding with half a working heart. This time though, I don't land on the cushions of my friend. Instead he carries her voice, and her laughs at my despair.

I should've listened to the whispers...

My back, broken, writhing with the squiggles of pain from the grass I landed on... I don't want to lift my head, I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want to confirm what I saw. I just want to leave...

That's when I miss the passing . . .

What would've been my last hope to stand up. Instead here I lie in my bed with a crappy matress.

Alone.

Why I'm Not Losing Weight (And How I'm Losing It)

2011-11-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

So lately for some reason people have been worried about what they look like. (And by lately I mean for like the past 4 years). Either that or all the people I know are older and have realized that watching tv with a pizza pie is the reason they can't see their neck in the mirror when they wake up in the mornings.

Apart from being disgusting, these couch potatoes also share unnecessarinesses with me about their extreme measures for losing weight. Take for example the other day at work when I was about to enjoy my pizza. (Screw you, that school's pizza is AWESOME!). This one rather heavyset lady that eats at the same time with me in the teacher's lounge greeted me all happy. I said hi and I sat down and admired my food for a second like I always do. The pizza's crusty and fluffy bread waiting for me and my palates to enjoy its sole purpose for existence... To be delicious in my mouth.

"SO GUESS WHAT I HAD DONE TO LOSE WEIGHT!" she subtlety hinted at me.

And by subtlety mean, she might as well have said, hey lardface, since you are stuffing your hole with pizza, then you should do the following to lose weight, as have I.

"What" I replied as I bit off a really big chunk of pepperoni's stacked on the slice's corner (Oh ok, I see why they tell me it's not good pizza....) Something told me she was going to talk for a while. Mouth full of pizza? Check. Patience? Check. Time? Oy.... 30 minutes worth... Check

"Well I was weighing 350 lbs (this lady is the same height as me... maybe shorter) and I tried dieting, weight watchers, exercising and none of it worked! So I had this surgery done where the doctor pulls out your esophagus from a gaping hole in your chest and takes a knife and stabs it. Then he drags the knife down to your stomach, makes a little curvy line, and then slices a piece of your small intestine. Then, through the ancient art of origami, he makes it so that he can cut 90% or your stomach off and then you become stomachless. How? I don't know, I think he made slits in my stomach and put the pieces of skin in them like a tapestry of sorts. Except, instead of using cloth or hay he used loose hanging skin!"

At this point my mind was quivering because of the mental raping that had been performed in my imaginative brain.

Then I swallowed my pizza. Hmmm.... yeah no holes in MY esophagus.

Attempting to not be rude I asked "how long ago was this?"

"One year! (^u^)"

"How much weight did you lose?" (So much for not being rude....)

"70 lbs!"

There I was, staring at her relish in her accomplishment of a 70 lb loss over a year's period. She was so happy... Makes me wish I was dumb so I'd at least be happy. It's when you are aware of your surroundings that you are unhappy. When you know facts like: if only you ate twice a day and exercised just a little more or at least if you did SOMETHING daily then you would end up looking halfway decent. Unfortunately there are people that enable you by saying stupid stuff like "Hey! Let's go eat a burger!" or "You're not THAT fat" or "Pfffffftt!!! Walking? You're not even burning off all of the calories in a tofu popsicle!" They don't get that either they're not the only ones inviting you for a burger or that hiding your fatness from you makes you feel like you don't have to exercise or that maybe, JUST MAYBE, that little walk might one day turn into a 5 mile run. They're STUPID.

Well, as for the last one, maybe it IS our duty as cool humans to make fun of people that decided Polka Abs or The Accordion Hero Squat Cardio Movie series makes a good exercise program but, if it's someone that gets up off the couch only when he runs out of potato chips... Then maybe we should cut him some slack...

Fortunately I haven't listened to all those people and saw the fruits of my labor this morning when I lifted my shirt in front of the mirror. . . and at the very top of my navel, stood for the very first time two visible little packs. :)

What? Did I say I already had a six pack? Technically I did, I mean, we're all human beings.... :D

Time to TRASH SOMEONE!!!! HAW HAW HAW!!!!

2011-08-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

HAW HAW HAW!!!!

I am ANGREE!!! In fact, I will just say that the monkey has blown up the stupid dynamite! I hate how I try to be nice and it almost always blows up in my face. Yeah, it's happened at school, uh errr... work a lot with all these girl teachers that wink and smile at me and I say (in a dumb voice) "Uh yeah I'll carry your books...."

I've always been too easy.

Now there might be too many reasons for me to be happy, like how dubstep has been on da rise. Also there is a new Spiderman movie (that hopefully doesn't suck) and Jessica Chobot is as hawt as always. People are starting to respect rage comics, and the economy is spiraling into another economic recession, which means more time for me to sit at home playing "How Long Can You Stick Your Thumb in Your Mouth" with my brothers to save my parents money on food whilst saving my own cash from frivolous obliteration on Internet meme paraphernalia. I should not be on the internet. . .

(No you can't your thumb JUST because it looks like a prune. Here hide your thumb under this so you don't get tempted).

In any case, over the past months it has been reiterated to me that I have cool friends that are just cool. Yesterday I found the revelation that there are dudes out there that have drama and call chicks up and complain about stuff and gossip about people and badmouth others.

Blegh...

What kinda homo . . . ? ? ?

So yeah people out there that bad mouth their "friends". Usually I've been very good at making friends. (Except for one very big exception. . . :P) So it sucks when you know something about someone and, apart from knowing this, you know that their friends aren't good friends. You feel such pity for this person. Sighs....

In any case I'm excited about tomorrow! Yah YAY!!!! :D

Aids in Africa!!!??? I HAVE A PIMPLE!!! >:(

2011-07-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

All this Texas dryness has reminded me of just how much chicks differ from dudes. What's one thing got to do with the other? Nothing. However since the grass doesn't grow anymore I don't have to do any yard work. Except for last Friday when I realized that the backyard was in a state of anarchy and I had to tame it. Of course, the plants didn't fight back. If they had I would have no had the quiet time to sit and reflect. Also I would've peed my pants and run for the door before one of the man eating vines would've wrapped itself on my leg and dragged me to be digested by the giant clams that had allied with them.

You may have seen my very cryptic quote from last time. I will explain this right now.

How nice would it be to be children again! Now I know kids don't feel this way because their pimples overshadow aids in Africa and the wrong dress could bring even more horrific consequences than of the creation of WMDs.

To a point, being kids does suck. At the same time they have the 'unbeknownst to them' privilege of not knowing anything.

Usually the lack of knowledge is a bad thing, but to the person that lacks it, their mind is in an eternal sunshine that will only be spotted with the troubles of others if he starts to perceive them.

Of course, we don't want to have a dirty mind.

That is, unless you want to have an unfortunate incident in the future, where the consequences will land you on a list of people you don't want to be in, and with a limited number of job positions available to you.

Blegh... I don't want to be an ice cream man.... then again... free ice cream doesn't sound that bad.

NO WAIT!!!! I don't think you COULD be an ice cream man. . .

In any case, I wish I had a spotless mind. Then my sunshine would be eternal and I wouldn't be worrying about "AIDS in Africa". Blegh.

Clean Slate

2011-07-07T23:34:00.000-07:00

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

I'm Back!

2011-05-09T15:01:00.001-07:00

I've been MIA for a while and part of it is because of some excellent advice that I received from an EXCELLENT blogger. Ok now you may think that I am being biased because she is my little sister but trust me, if I had the chance to negatively criticize her writing I would. I can't criticize however because her writing is amazing!!! It has been a while since I have come across enjoyable reading material. Therefore I have taken her advice on my writing quite seriously. Namely: What are you an emo? (Scared on continuing blogging in an emo way, I stopped blogging altogether).

It's true, for the past 6 months I have dedicated unmerited attention to issues that aren't worth two flips. I'm not complaining since because of this fact, I have come to realize who my true friends are, how people TRULY feel about me, and the fact that no matter how much people fight it, I am right on things 95% of the time. Screw you selfish people! It's time for me to think about me. Mwahahahaha!

This being said I am now ready to review Fast Five.

This will sound familiar if you have read my review of Fast and Furious 4 but here we go again.

Spoiler Alert: There are spoilers here. There... I've alerted you to spoilers.

First off, when were we going to be told that Toretto is a hispanic in this movie? I had no idea. Then someone told me that we learned that in the last movie. It must have happened sometime between my naps. It DOES explain, however, the fact that his sister isn't blonde and blue eyed. It also explains all the other Hispanic culture type stuff, the big high on religion, the big focus on family stuff, and the hot chicks. :P

Now that I've realized this though, it makes me kind of upset. I was wondering why I enjoyed such horrible movies and I've realized that it's because it plays to all stereotypical things Hispanics do. Now sure I enjoy leopard skin covers as much as the next guy, and granted I do fantasize about breaking the law every once in a while (I do have to admit that I've loitered where it was specifically prohibited to), but when you use everything that you know I like against me to take my money... now that's just evil.

The second thing that I disliked about this movie (in principal at least) is the fact that, AGAIN, there is no RACING!!! How do you make a movie about being fast and furious without the fast! (There were a lot of furious people in this movie so congrats on having fulfilled that promise directing people). There is ONE racing scene in this movie and it was COMPLETELY gratuitous. Had this racing scene not been there, you would have NEVER noticed. Seeing it made me feel insulted. It was like they were saying,

"Look, there's no racing in this movie."

Then I said: "Why??? IT'S FRICKIN FAST AND THE FURIOUS!!!"

"...good point."

"Well then?" Questioning look.

(Ignoring my stare) "...FINE! Here... take this one. It's the best I can come up with.

"This one has gum stuck to the side of it"

"No it doesn't"

"The expiration date says 1995"

"These things last forever. They're like TWINKIES!"

I ate the race scene up because it was there, but afterwards I felt cheap and violated... The shower I took when I got home has not helped. :'(

The third and most ANNOYING of all the things that happened in the movie is the ending. After having received closure from all the movies combined, having come up for an excuse for all the crap that was filmed in Tokyo and part 2, and for having an amazing and barely believable happy ending, Eva Mendes shows up talking about ghosts. Why? Why must you entice me with a beautiful Hispanic lady wearing an amazing dress that outlines her amazing Hispanic body! Why did you loosen a knot that had been successfully tied in part 4! Do you hate me? Is it because I criticize everything you do? Should I have let you have that last slice of pizza when we had that party at my house? Is that why you hate me? Most concerning of all... how did you know I was going to fall for it!!! HOW!!!! I HAAAAAAAAATEEEE YOUUUU!!!!!!!!

:'(

In conclusion, Fast Five gets Five stars out of Five for having made an EXCELLENT movie. I can't wait until the next one comes out! :D

Two Realizations in One Night

2011-04-21T22:42:00.001-07:00

I feel better. . .

Not great but better.

I've come to realize two things tonight. The first one being that I'm an amazing person. Yes its true, I'm partly aware that nurturing elementary teachers telling me that don't count, but even then I've come to realize how low I've stooped for so long, how extremely out of character I've acted, and how I poured the extreme best out of myself and it still wasn't good enough.

Why did I pour the extreme best? I have no clue!!! I've cleared my head and there is absolutely no reason why I should've done this in the first place. I've been extremely selfless in absolutely everything for the very beginning. For the past few months I had the frustration that maybe something had gone wrong on my end but tonight was very good for me.

See here's the deal, I'm a lazy person, sometimes extremely focused that I don't notice other things, and proud, but when I decide to do something great, and I focus every single piece of myself on a project of sorts and my best work comes out, and I am 100% sure that it is my best work, and it still isn't good enough for someone, well, you can imagine that after a while I won't care what this person thinks.

I'm such an idiot. I'm too nice for my own good. I would say that I'm never going to be nice again but I've told myself that since I was a receptionist and it hasn't worked out. Yeah I'm going to fix your computer even though you haven't put in that heat ticket. I also know that you're not going to put that heat ticket in later like you promised you would. I also know that you're going to take advantage of me in the future and yes, I will again fix your computer for you. (Haha, the difference between THIS situation and work though is that teachers show you some gratitude by giving you candy and buying you drinks and the like).

I can't believe I had thought all the things I thought before. Coming to think of it, I don't know why I thought any of the things I had thought. Oh well. Glad that's out of the way. Even though I am still going to be nice, I know now that what I had learned when I was 17 is applicable to everyone no matter how nice they seem. It sucks that I had to relearn something I had already known, but c'est la vie.

I drone on in my sleepiness....

The second thing I realized tonight is that I'm 95% right about things, which is higher than what I was led to believe by certain individuals. Experience seems really stupid to rely on but from what I learned when I was a freshman, History repeats itself, but the names and faces change. There's nothing new under the sun. The exact same experience that I am going through has been gone through by someone else before in almost exactly the same way. I would even go so far as to say that it would be very conceited of someone to claim that they they are living something that is unique to history. This has happened before, and unfortunately it will happen again and again.

It just sucks that you only realize this after it's too late.

If only you knew everything I knew, and heard all the things I was told, and seen all the people I've met and had all the conversations I've had... :\

Good night muñecos. Gotta be rested for whatever favor someone asks of me tomorrow.

Aim High but Expect Low

2011-03-25T23:10:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine has recently asked me a question.What makes a girl awesome to hang out (from a male's perspective).

Is the following answer unversal and applicable in all situations? Of course not, but I would like to this that it's damn close! :)

For some reason, women have a destructive need to read more into things that are being said or done, and worst of all, in the worst circumstances possible (such as the ones that are most important to said girl).

For example, imagine a girl who has cooked for her friends at her home. They all sit down to eat and the friends are enjoying themselves in good company. One of them says 'pass the salt'. The end of the evening is passed in relaxation.

Now imagine that same situation except the boy that this girl REALLY likes is in attendance. Now HE'S asking for the salt. The girl's mind would inevitably now be thrown into a tailspin as she wonders what he means by that. She questions her cooking ability even though she spent time a cooking institute learning under the world's greatest chef. She wonders if he's trying to tell her something in a subtle manner. Maybe he heard somewhere that she likes him and he's trying to hint that he doesn't feel the same way. Why? Just because he's, at the moment, the perfect human male and knows how to communicate with women and can tell what they feel and returns the communication back. (I know, sounds like an episode of Psycho Girlfriend).

Ladies, why can't you just take some things at face value? Sometimes pass the salt just means pass the salt.

Due to the fact that I am a genius, I've come up with a new motto for my life. Aim high but expect low.

(Aim high but expect low means that you should always want to get the most out of any situation, but expect the worse so that in case you don't get the highest possible outcome, you don't get dissapointed. For example someone that aims high and expects high has a higher probability of disappointment just for the simple fact that success is always the least probable outcome. I.e. a person that aims to get an awesome job with a high salary will be disappointed if instead he gets a crappy job with a low pay grade. However a person that aims to get a good job but is content if he just gets any job won't be disappointed if he ends up working at Kohl's because he figured this was probably going to end up even though he applied at Microsoft or Google).

My friends, if you are looking to be a cool person to hang out with here are some simple steps.

1. Assume that people don't like you: This way you aim to please them by being a cool person. However if you do the opposite and you assume that any person will automatically love you, then you will get cocky and you will end up looking like a douchebag.

2. Expect people to not like you: If you think that people are going to like you JUST because you exist, you will be sorely disappointed. Sometimes people hate us for no reason. Assume everyone is like this and you won't be disappointed if they don't end up being your friend.

3. Aim to make as many friends as possible: Just because you expect things to turn out bad, doesn't mean that you're not going to try to change that around.

4. If you think that people are being mean, pretend it's all in your head and be even MORE nice to them: Sometimes we all mean to say one thing but instead we say something else or it comes out the wrong way, or our tone of voice messes up. It happens to everyone. You might be hotheaded and ready to argue but don't. Perhaps the other person doesn't even know that they are being weird. You will alienate yourself if you call them out on it, even if you ARE right.

5. Listen and Silent are spelled the same: One of the most attractive qualities a man or woman can have is the ability to listen even when they really REALLY want to say something. Everyone loves to be listened to and when one becomes an expert at listening, people are instantly attracted to your personality, which in the end, is much stronger than a physical attraction.

My friend, I hope this helps.

When Things Come Out Better Than Expected (And When They Don't)

2011-03-24T07:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when we think about the future, we can't help but imagine that we're going to get something that better than what we figure is probably going to happen. Yet, there are those rare times when things actually come out better then expected. Take for example this picture.

This picture is a sketch drawn by Alexander Graham Bell.

You might now be thinking, that name sounds familiar. Well that's because you at one point were smart enough to know that AGB was the inventor of the phone. Yet, now all you do is sit there and read blogs. How the mighty have fallen.

In this sketch, AGB imagines how one could travel with a telephone device. Obviously there's no way to make telecommunication portable unless you are wearing a transmitter of sorts. Downside to this is that transmitters were REALLY big. AGB's thoughts on this? Make the transmitter cool enough to be thrown on a catwalk.

Nice.

Out of this idea we get this sketch where a man carries a telephone around.

AGB would be shocked to see how his cell phone idea went a long way. First it was that you could send papers through a telephone line, which was CRAZY. After that it was that your could carry a suitcase that was your cell phone. Then after that it was that you could receive text messages. After that people realized that you could get text data over the internet through a cell line (2G). Nowadays I use my cell phone to check my bank statements, keep track of my stocks, and fire bullets through enemy airplanes.

The worst part of it all is that people complain about the technology. I think C.K. Lewis put it best when he said "PEOPLE! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!!!"

Seriously, you're complaining about technology? YOU ARE TALKING TO A PERSON THAT IS MILES AWAY, HOW IS THAT NOT AMAZING!

Whiny voice: Oh, no, my flight's delayed. These stupid airplanes aren't on time.

Yeah, I get it, but you don't think that there would be a problem with a 21st century piece of machinery that proportionally burns less fuel than your car and can take you to another part of the world in less than a day? I'm pretty sure Colombus would have liked something like that. He definitely wouldn't be complaining that his flight to the Americas was delayed.

Whiny Voice: But you don't get it, my computer is so slow and it sucks.

It's slow but it's faster than anything that would've existed even 10 years ago! A slow computer nowadays is about 1.2Ghz. What does that mean? It means that it calculates 1,200,000,000,000 (read one point two TRILLION) calculations per second. WHO CALCULATES 1.2TRILLION THINGS A SECOND!? (Humans do but not purposefully).

So take a CHILL PILL people! Be glad that things are the way they are! I'm not saying to stop progress and expect better. Just don't complain. You'll look much nicer that way. :)

Big Deceptions

2011-03-15T23:03:00.000-07:00

What the good ol' president was trying to recall is this famous saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me."

You know, there will always be some people that just seem so interested in using you and once things are over they thank you for your contribution to the betterment of their-selves and it's "hasta la vista baby". Normally one can brush small things like that off, but every so often it gets done in a HUGE scale that is just so impossible to ignore.

Take for instance my last year in 8th grade.

I got accepted into a very nice respectable high school in downtown Chicago where all the smart kids went. Jones College Prep was two bus rides away and at age 13 I was going to get familiarized with one of Chicago's oldest buildings. Jones was my number two choice after Whitney Young, which was the top Chicagoan high school. Plus, who could beat going to a school that only had 800 kids total!!!

Nice. . . .

Well my mind was made up. Then one day, I was called out of my room and taken, with 4 other innocent children, to a room where I met the principal of a brand new magnet school. She had just been assigned to a school that was being renovated near Lake Michigan. She claimed that you could see Wrigley Field from it (though I never saw it). She also wanted our help in starting up the school. All students had been phased out and a renovation was taking place at the moment. Since it was located in the black neighborhood she needed a little diversity and had seeked some of the ~~worst suckers~~ best options out there.

So here I am. 12 or 13 years old, and I'm stuck in a room where an important adult and some other people were looking at me, asking me to go to this school, pleading almost, and making me feel uncomfortable about saying no.

To seal the deal she shows us two really large heavy books. One dictionary and one thesaurus. Immense books that she would like us to have in appreciation for our commitment to her school.

To tell you the truth I don't even remember saying yes (or even thinking why I said yes). I do however still have both books. (It's like in Click where it was all a dream except at the end he finds the remote. Hmmmm...)

So I ended going to King College Prep, the same school where Michael Clarke Duncan went. Yes I was excited those first few days, but upon meeting a lot of the staff, noticing that I was the only Hispanic for two miles out, and that Lake Michigan looked really ugly next to broken up sidewalk, the honeymoon was over.

The principal stayed nice though. I had a teacher that insulted me (kinda) and I stayed quiet. Then some other kids were mad for me and went to tell the principal what she did (among other things she did) and the principal called me personally. She asked me if it was true. I hesitated to tell her the truth. I've never been the type to take pleasure in someone suffering because of me. The next day the teacher apologized to me, but you could tell she was doing it because someone had put a gun next to her head.

Gosh I wish I could remember that principal's name.

If I were to do it all over again, I would have stuck to my first choice, Jones. Why? It would have been the safe choice. I wouldn't have let myself get suckered into something that my gut was telling me was going to end up hurting me or that I KNEW would screw me so bad that I still have repercussions that live with me to this very day. I wouldn't let myself get fooled twice! I mean, then I would just be asking for it.

Mistakes

2011-03-06T20:54:00.001-08:00

Everyone makes mistakes and it's understandable. Sometimes we make mistakes on purpose. These are, technically not accidents, but we regret them after everything's said and done.

I remember one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my whole life. I was 11 or 12 years old.

There was an old lady that always begged my mom for favors. My mom always complained about her to me. She was one to ask for inconvenient favors. They were small favors, but they all added up to big things.

One day this lady called the house and I answered. She started to complain about something and started to ask me for a favor in my mom's name. Or so I thought. I got mad and I told her to stop doing that. Her inconveniences on our family were really bringing us down.

I yapped and yapped about some stuff and she interrupted me. I think she was crying. She said that what she really wanted was something else.

I felt horrible.

To this day I regret that. Over time I've met people that say that sometimes things happen, and you can't dwell on them. At least THEY never do. I'm related to some of these people and have dealt with them extensively over time.

Yet, even though I personally admire this in people and wish my hardest that I could be like them, I can't.

If I make a mistake, it kills me. I try my hardest to not think about it, but it's impossible. Ironically this too is something I admire in people. If someone doesn't feel bad for something they did and come up with reasons to not feel bad about it, down in my deep lower gut level I feel a disgust for them.

How big of a disgust?

Did you ever see The Patriot?

Remember that one scene where Mel Gibson is tending all the wounded soldiers and the British guy comes and he orders all the American soldiers shot? Sure everything's fine and dandy up to that point.

Then there's the scene where the British guy slowly pulls out his gun and points it at the 12 year old and fires. Then the little boy falls on his knees slowly and looks at the heavens with his pale face with a look of emptiness splattered all over it.

He's looking up at his dad who know rushes over and is holding him in his arms. Then British guy says: "Stupid little boy."

THAT feeling, is the feeling I get with ANYONE who doesn't understand what they did wrong or regret things.

Social intelligence is not something everyone can acquire I guess.

In my case I was only 11 years old, so my parents had to take the fall for me. Now that I'm older I take the fall for myself.

Since I'm one of those people that truly believe in the idea that, if someone behaves towards me a certain way then it's ok to behave that way back to them, and ESPECIALLY Vise Versa, I would hope that this lady has forgiven me for that little fiasco. Had it been backwards and she had done this to me, I know I would forgive her if she apologized to me.

I would send her a shout out but old Hispanic ladies don't know what the internet truly is.

I trust that I'm socially conscious of the things that happen around me. I was once told that I'm an idiot because everyone around me wants to be my friend and I close up to them. I realize this is true now. I would only feel sorry for myself if I ruined every relationship that I had ever come into. Probably would signal to me that I was doing something wrong.

You don't pick apples from pear trees right? :)

The Music Teacher

2011-02-07T16:06:00.000-08:00

I didn't sleep last night. Well, technically that's not true. I didn't sleep MUCH last night. It was about three thirty when I finally hit the hay. Or was it four. . . ? I can't remember.

The insomnia was partially due to the victory of my mortal enemies and partly because I felt. . . really ok? I can't really explain it.

I didn't even think of anything productive. Except maybe just think about stuff from way back in the day. It was good times back in 7th grade. I remember when I had arrived at Nathan Davis. I was merely eight tiny years old. One of the first things that stood out to me was music class. Was it the fact that the teacher tried to teach us how to play songs? Was it the fact that there were enough piano keyboards for every two kids? Was it the fact that the music teacher tried to teach us music vocabulary?

Nope. It was the fact that the teacher had the whiniest voice. He was highly irritable and he sounded like a girl fish with a high pitch voice that was having her spine removed through a hole in her back. Or like a higher pitched Raymond Barone. :)

Ironically this guy forced us to do a meditation thing everytime we went into his room.

"Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaass!" He squealed.

"Close your eeeyes and we can start". Short pause.

"IIIIN" inhale.

"OUUUUT" exhale

Silence.

Of course, 32 eight year olds can only sit still for so long. Eventually after a few months we had realized that by the 50th second in silence the old man had fallen asleep. (Now that I think about it, perhaps he could've been one of those people that only sleep 120 minutes a day. I've always wanted to do that! :D).

Eight year olds aren't accustomed to doing VERY naughty things (at least not back in THOSE days). Yet how can you pass up an opportunity like THIS ONE!!!

Yes, we were bad, and we opened our eyes when we weren't supposed to! Hehehe...

Fortunately for us we had a clock that he set to ring after two minutes. We knew when to close our eyes again.

Eventually though, we grew up. So the eye opening became whisper conversations. The whisper conversations became note passing. the note passing became the delivery of notes across the room. Note delivery became standing up and talking to other people across the room. Eventually we started running out of time. So the closest person to him had to grab the clock and set it a minute past the ringing time.

At first we would set it one minute ahead. Then two.

One day, it became eight minutes. One very boring day it became eight LONG minutes.

One of us stood up to wave his hand across his face. The old man was fast asleep.

Why couldn't I be the old man last night and fall asleep like that? right now my eyes are so heavy i could blink and my eyelids would get muscles. :(

The Story

2011-01-24T19:45:00.001-08:00

The story I'm about to tell you kinda exemplifies why even though sometimes I tell myself I don't care for either outcome on any situation, I kind of do.

It's not a story about me mind you. It's a story about a friend of mine.

Stories about my friends are easier to tell I think. :)

I haven't seen him in a long time. A really long time. Try two decades long. It's been a while. He used to be my friend. He would wave hi as he passed me sometimes. He was really small.

Really small.

He was so small that he made me feel kind of big! Lol.

I once asked him where he was going. He would pass me all the time. I was nervous about talking to him at first. Not a lot of mice are friendly to humans after all, and with good reason! Mice are always chased down by us. We consider them pests, and I, like any other good human, make every effort to squeeze them out of my life.

How was I supposed to know this was the rule of nature if I was only two years old! It was very understandable that I didn't follow these rules, so you will have to forgive me if you find this story offensive, as it involves a mouse and a human, but I digress.

He was very wary at first. No human had ever asked him a question of any kind.

"What is your name?" I asked.

"What's a name?" He asked.

"It's the thing people call you."

"The only thing people have ever called me is AAAAH!"

"Oh, then I guess that is your name. Where do you live ah?"

"I can't tell you that"

"Why?" My face contorted in confusion.

"My parents have always told me not to reveal that. You humans would instantly snuff us out and kill us."

"Kill?"

"It means that I go to sleep for a long time. You would never see me again."

Saddened by this, plus the sudden feeling of thirst, I started crying. so the mouse ran into a hole in the attic door. So much for hiding out in secrecy.

My parents didn't really know there was a mouse in the apartment. They went about their lives as if they were the only people in the world. My mom was growing a bump in her tummy. She was getting really fat. My dad spent all of his time on rubbing her belly and seemed to have lost all interest in me. The dark void left in my tiny little soul was quickly filled with meetings with Ah the mouse.

Ah was very nice. He was single from what I gathered. There were other mice out on the streets but none were interested in Ah because he never seemed to have a lot of possessions. Turns out all species' females are quite similar.

In reality, Ah had hundreds of possessions. He would tell this to his lady acquaintances but they never believed him. To prove it he would invite the lady mice to his apartment, but none wanted to go there. He had no way of otherwise proving his claims. Cameras still used film and required devolopment at a pharmacy, which included contact with a human being, something Ah had already considered out of the question.

I told him as best I could that there was a commercial on tv where a girl held up a box and this box gave a little flash and then a white square sheet came out where a picture appeared of things that you were thinking about. At least that's how I thought it worked. He was very interested in this device and asked me if I had one. I told him I didn't know. After all, I was only two years old.

"Humans!" the mouse exclaimed. Turns out rodents don't say rats.

The days went by like years. I gained the same amount of knowledge an adult can gain in a year in the space of two days. Ah and I developed a relationship of very close acquaintances.

Life was ok until one day my dad walked out of the attic holding a triangular piece of cardboard. He was trying to hide it from me but I saw Ah's tail sticking out of the back. He seemed calm.

I'm glad Ah the mouse was able to work out his fear of humans and make friends with my dad. He became such good friends with him that he never came to see me again. For that, I resent him to this very day.

Thanks a lot Ah.

So I guess I do care about some outcomes. It just depends on which ones. :)

Ideals

2011-01-21T15:55:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was at Starbucks and I got into a little spat of sorts.

Although this didn't really bother me, I realized that the other party was upset because they weren't getting what they wanted. Also the reason I wasn't upset was because I didn't care at all.

This in turn made me realize that something really hated by my peers is the fact that I don't seem to care about things, but at the same time, it's the thing that makes me not slow down.

Huh?

Ok, ok, ok, lemme explain.

When a person expects something from anything, and whatever they expected doesn't come true, they are upset. This happens when you expect something from a person or a situation. In example, if you are a bossy person and you expect people to treat you with respect, and it just so happens that people don't treat you with the respect you are expecting, then you will be upset.

However, a person that doesn't expect respect from someone else, and doesn't get respect, this person does not get upset because of the reason that they weren't expecting respect in the first place.

Or like a child that expects candy every day after school and doesn't get any one day, will be upset; but a child that doesn't expect any candy afterschool, will not get upset if he comes home from school and doesn't get any candy.

I don't know if I've known this for a long time, but I don't expect anything from most things, which is a good thing and a bad thing.

Sometimes people don't know what to think when they encounter someone that doesn't react to a situation. I remember when I first went to Six Flags Great America with the oh so pretty Lizbeth. Gawsh, I used to think she was so hot. (...but I killed it, I killed it!!! D-X)

I remember she was having the best time of her life there. What was I doing? Having an awesome time too! Except my face was all like, BLAH!

She was so distraught with the face she asked me sometime in the afternoon, "Hey, are you having fun?"

I looked at her. To this very day I still can't get the look on her face out of my mind. Little round head on a skinny frame, curly hair bangs and a ponytail staring at me with tentative dismay.

"Uh... yeah!"

(IDIOT! Why did you say "uh"!!!)

I smiled shyly.

I was so dumb. . . . . .

I wish I could say I've changed but I haven't. I don't think I've changed noticeably since I was 17, physically or otherwise. to this very day I still have the same look of boredom on my face.

During my trip to Chicago a few weeks ago, my friend with whom I was staying with asked me a few times if I was enjoying myself. Same look on his face but not as pretty. :)

He states that I should show more emotion. Also says that I may push people away with my non-excitement.

All these thoughts on my personality's lack of seeming interest culminated yesterday.

As I got excited about something I was asked to be quiet.

I think that's the reason why I'm so quiet at times: I just don't want to upset people. I hate having people upset at me. It makes me upset.

Not too upset because I don't expect people to be having a blast with me at the same time. So if they do it's ok, and if they don't, it's ok too. Either way, it won't bother me because I wasn't expecting either outcome. That's probably the same reason why I don't get too angry about things either.

I always tell myself that either outcome can be good.

There's one story that I know that kinda disproves my theory on this whole matter though. Which is ok because I don't know if I'm right. If I am it's all good. If I'm wrong, it's all bueno as well. :)

I'll tell you the story next time. :)

On Betterment

2011-01-11T14:46:00.000-08:00

What a crappy series of experiences I've been having for the past two months! :(

However there is always the consolation that I'm not doing things all by myself. It takes amazing days like yesterday to remind me that I'm always being looked out for. Makes me think on the things that I haven't done in a while.

Yesterday in the morning I was well received everywhere I went. It's like everyone decided at the same time to greet me in the nicest way possible. Received tons of hugs and the administrative team at Wilson even gave me this!

A bag with my initials on it!

Then at the end of the day the one lady I had written about earlier had written up new issues on her computer. When I went to see her she was really shy and embarrassed to see me. I guess she realized what she had done and didn't feel good about it. So I took the opportunity to bust on her a little. Why? The issues she had written up weren't real issues. Some things were just unplugged. So I really pushed the thought that perhaps she just wanted to see me. :)

On my quiet time at work I realized something.

A person that says that is actively working towards being older and mature, are no where near being old and mature.

Why?

Just for the simple reason that they are. :)

I'll put it to you this way.

Since I've talked to so many teachers and I deal with so many adults, none of them say things like, they need to be more adult and mature. They in fact tell me the opposite. Adults tell me that they wish they were younger, even younger than I am. Who are the people that say the opposite? Young children who want to seem older by attaching eighths, quarters and halves at the end of their age.

"How old are you?"

"I'm thirteen and a half!"

"Really? Wow, I thought you were young but when you said HALF, whoa, that really changed my mind".

That's not what an adult conversation sounds like.

"So I bet you have experience huh?"

"Child, you can't even imagine how old I am. How old are you?"

"22"

"WOOOOW!!!! I WISH I WAS YOUR AGE! No wait, I wish I was 19!"

There's also one more factor in part of being mature, that these thoughts come naturally and they aren't influenced by anything or anyone. Not that mature people don't let others influence them, but when they are influenced they say things that point out that they were influenced. So it's not that they saw a commercial on tv about how it's cool to be young so they want to be 19 again, it's the fact that because of their age and all the issues that come with it, they are ACTUALLY TRYING TO BE 19!

I've met teachers that are complete fanatics about some cartoon or Disney movie that their personal items are decorated with deluges of stickers and coloring book sheets. Like if their favorite cartoon or movie got drunk and threw up all over their notebook.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that me worrying about maturity actually proves I'm immature. Lol!

It's ok though! I'm in no rush to grow up. It's not like I'm going to run out of time! I'm going to be young FOREVER!!! (Even literally speaking! I'm not going to look 22 until I'm 50 right!?) I have the privilege of not being forced to be shortsighted. I have all the time in the world to grow up and be mature.

...huh....

...i feel better...! :D

Men's Emotional Needs and What I Must Do

2011-01-09T23:10:00.000-08:00

I can't get the following statement out of my head. This was made to me this week, "If you really wanted to, you would be..."

You know, over the course of humanity, it has been well established that, emotionally speaking, a women demands more. Not necessarily because women are weaker emotionally than men, but because of the fact that women themselves don't know what they want. (Girls, you can fight me on this, but all of mature women out there know this is true). Throughout the period when they are discovering what they want, a period which lasts two decades, women allow confusion to rule over them, which means a man must take care in what they say or do in front of them. Ironically they must also do the opposite of what they THINK they should do.

Yes, you chicks are confusing.

Because of this emotional monopoly women have gained over the years, it is forgotten by all who aren't psychiatrists, that men have emotional needs too. These may not seem to be as trivial as women's issues, but they really are. Hearing things that go with the flow of these emotional needs makes a man feel good about himself. For example, Rick Ross's new single's chorus has a line where the girl says she is riding down the highway with her boss. (I'm not a regular rap listener, and mostly shy away from the genre, but this is a catchy song!)

This is extremely attractive to a man.

It's not that the man has a desire to have complete control over the girl, it's just the fact that the girl allows him a sense of power or dominion. This is perceived by the man as respect. If a man doesn't sense respect, especially from someone that is close to him, the man doesn't completely trust this person. doesn't feel comfortable, and may at times try to break from whatever links him to this person.

Respect, or the sense of a non lack of it, allows a male to have a relationship with another human being. It is impossible to have a relationship with another man, of any kind, where there is a palpable sense of a lack of respect. (I know a lot of things men mentally aren't capable of doing. They're pretty funny actually. Did you know men cannot have a conversation face to face? A man that talks to another man cannot be in front of him. He must stand to the side. Otherwise, it will be perceived as an innate lack of recpect and as a threat. Don't believe me? Ask men how they talk to each other.)

It's of no shock then, that being told I was not using my talents, age, and possibilities to attain something I have always wanted, came as a slap to the face.

yes it's true that I have wanted something for the past five years, but have felt that for whatever reason, I was not able to attain it. To be fair the last time I tried I was 18 or 19. Upon thinking deeply about my life, I don't have a sense of direction. I have to give myself one. To do this I have to start doing some things that I am not accustomed to, but I can do it! Ever since I returned from Chicago I have been able to maintain my regular exercise routine and I have actually been losing the pounds I gained in Chicago! I foresee me losing 15 lbs by the end of the month, bringing me back two years.

Enough is enough. In three months I will achieve what I have been wanting to do in the past 5 years. No, not lose weight, but rather extend the use of my Wernicke's area.

Proof of Concept

2011-01-09T11:46:00.000-08:00

It was an interesting week.

First there was the days of work when there was no work, but we had to go into work anyway. So excuse me if I didn't feel like doing anything on Wednesday when there was work to do. :(

Overall it was a good week. It was made even more positive on Wednesday when I had a conversation with a lady at work.

This person is one of those really down to earth people. No nonsense goes through this lady's head. Things are just what they are, and what they seem and if things are not what they seem, then that's not what they are. Overall the ladies at the school have a very trusting feeling towards her, but not the friendliest since she can be cruelly honest with one when things are not going the way that she would like them to go.

When it comes to feelings, she gives off the appearance that she has none, but she showed me something that I was recently led to believe was not true.

In catching up with the two weeks we've missed off of work, she brings up the issue that her husband has recently received a job offer to use his talents in a different town. She says this nonchalant manner like most of what she says. Her statements cold and frigid denote a sarcasm towards the situation as they usually do. Her non-commitment to this job she has and the annoyance of being surrounded by her peers always seems to come through, yet at the same time it's really apparent how she overall enjoys her situation. Therefore she says she's leaving Houston for a different city with no feeling. Since I can't make out what she's thinking I ask:

"So you don't want to go, huh..."

"It's not that, I'll go wherever my husband goes!"

She went on to talk about her husband like she always does, but even through that cold and sarcastic manner of hers, you can tell she is deeply in love with her husband even though she's been married for a long time.

It's obvious when people feel romance and when they don't. Sometimes we lie to ourselves and tell ourselves otherwise, not realizing that all the patronizing and condescension we value really amount to nothing worth more than rocks in the mud.

Perhaps I need to realize that if something is fighting to leave, then not only may it not belong there, but most importantly it doesn't want to be there. If I want to keep something that doesn't want to stay, it will only make ME look foolish.

Why I don't Want to Grow Up (AKA When I Found Out I Was Old)

2011-01-03T23:28:00.001-08:00

It's late at night. I can't sleep. Poetry flows through my mind. I wander in romatic thoughts. (I hope you realize romance doesn't necessarily refer to relationships between two people that are in love with each other).

When I was a child I always had the idea that the world was perfect. It's really strange because I just visited the places I grew up in. There's little grass. Buildings everywhere look old. Chicago IS Gotham city. It makes it unique.

I loved it to be honest.

Still, I think about how I could have thought of so many optimistic plans for the future.

Well, I know they were optimistic, but I can't remember how. I can't remember ever being excited about a career or thinking of the house I was going to live in.

I've been lost in thought, and I think I realized why. This is a story that gets me pretty upset.

...meh....

So it's the last night I'm spending in Chicago. Unfortunately this is a very unsafe night where I am staying at. Ignorant Mexicans come out at night and shoot their guns to let everyone know that it's 12:00 am and that you're not in the previous year.

Thanks guys.

At the same time I must attend the meeting so I go out but the lady I'm staying with tells me I must return promptly afterwards. She worries about my safety. I tell her that I will. She retreats into the house with a more or less calmed down attitude.

At the end of the meeting I am invited by my frineds to go out and have a bite to eat. Pizza from arguably the best spot in town. (Seriously, I have not eaten awesome pizza as I have in Chicago! Why Houston! WHY!?!?!?!?)

My brothers tell me we should go. I say no because I made a commitment. they said screw the commitment. It's the last night in Chicago. It's not the lady's vacation. I should grow a pair and enjoy myself. I say no again. I am met with resistance again. Thsi time very very publicly. Now everyone is thinking the same thing. Infuriated I drag both of my brothers home.

That's when I realized something. . .

...I am mature. . . . . . .

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since when? How did this happen?

Hold on hold on hold on. . .

Am I really sure that I am mature? What's maturity anyway? Thinking thinking thinking thinking . . .

Maturity, I think, is when someone puts others before him? Is it when people do what's right? No wait! I think it's the capacity to understand which choice will have the most negative effect later and then avoid that choice.

Yeah I think that's it.

Except that's the reason I never wanted to grow up (no short jokes please. :P) When you mature, you have to consider negatives, which means you aren't always thinking positively. which in turn means that, you don't enjoy life like I think one should.

That's why children are so care-free, because they are immature.

That's why I'm so stressed out... because I matured. If this is true then I've been mature for some time, ever since I had this pain in the back of my neck.

This whole time I thought I could hold on to my youth, but it's fleeting. I can't stand myself any longer. Deep down inside I want to be accepted by society and act my age and not be seen by others as "that guy that still thinks he's a kid".

Tonight I was going to write something else and send it off to someone, but I think I should consider the possibility that I have been ignoring what I should be doing. How I should be acting. Placing others' interests before my own?

Also coming to mind is something else I learned when I was in Chicago. It comes to mind because I don't want to be a pushover, but at the same time I don't want to do this that I saw in Chicago.

I saw what it looks like to be demanding when you don't deserve to be. I don't know how to explain it.

It's like, seeing a blind guy that is angry at people for not watching where they step. Like a deaf musical critic, or like a parent telling teachers how to teach, or like a guest correcting the waiter on the ingredients of a plate. A new employee telling his experienced colleagues how to do the job?

I don't ever want to be seen like that. It scares me. Though I feel some part of that is the next step that I have to take to be a me in the next level. I wish it would be as easy as defeating a boss though. :(

The Human Mind

2010-12-14T21:18:00.000-08:00

Humans don't know what's good for them. Rather, their brains don't know what's good for them.

Ah the brain. such a marvelous muscle. I once saw a mini-episode of nova on the brain. The scientists, like always, marveled about how the neurons can make calculations at an enormous amount of speed. In fact, this small clump of meat does it instantly. When I tell my fingers to push on key on the keyboard, my finger just does it. I didn't read a manual on how to make my fingers do anything, they just move on their own.

Look at them! (Wiggle) How does that HAPPEN!!!!????

At the same time it's telling my heart to pump blood; it's telling me I'm not hungry; it's telling me I feel lonely; it's giving me this pain in my neck I've had since sophomore year; it's translating the video feeds my eyes are receiving into whatever natural language my body understands. It's differentiating what I'm writing, which is English, du francais y del espanol. Plus the brain does a MILLION other things that I'm sure I'm not aware of...

...but it's not enough! That's why there's feelings too.

If I didn't FEEL hungry I wouldn't put food in my mouth. I wouldn't FEEL a need for it. I wouldn't drink if I didn't FEEL thirsty. Heck, I wouldn't be exercising if I didn't FEEL fat. :)

So I've been asking myself if I feel better than I felt before.

I don't....

I feel I should go back to before.

However, that's what brains are for. I know what I have to do to feel different. I know the people I have dealt with in the past. There's only a few types of people. We're all so different but at the same time I recognize everyone from before. I'm one of the people types that I wish I wouldn't be. I know.....

That's why I think I'm going to do what feel I shouldn't do. I know how it's going to go. I know how it's going to end. I accept it. It's going to be painful, and it's not going to work. Yet, it's necessary to end this pain of mine.

Stupid brain... stupid feelings. :)

Just in time. . .

2010-12-03T14:27:00.001-08:00

It's funny how life always gets you back for things that you've done in the past. This hasn't really happened to me really you know. (I was about to say 'never happened to me, but I don't remember things very well... )

When I was in sixth grade I used to have this guy that bullied me a lot. His name was Erwin. He was pretty cruel. I wondered how I was going to get back at him, but I never did. Eventually this took care of itself. Up until today I wonder if it was a coincidence. Why? Because what happened to him was really ironic. He became a victim of bullying himself. Eventually he couldn't go anywhere without anyone calling him gay and calling him Erma. I even remember my 7th grade teacher calling him Erma once, out of pure frustration.

There was also a previous friend of mine that turned on me. This person has never regained any friends as close ever again.

As time has passed, small things have always happened to people that have wronged me. For some reason their life begins to suck. I can remember many cases where this happens. There's one big one I don't dare mention here because of the possibility that this is REALLY not the case, but who knows. However, it hasn't happened for a while so I thought this was probably my imagination. A fluke perhaps?

Then this week it happened again. An argument with a teacher over her wrongdoing, which she tried to pass on to me. From what I was told, she had a horrible rest of the day.

It really gives me no GREAT pleasure seeing this, but it teaches me not to be mean on my own. Usually things get taken care of by themselves.

the reason I remember this today is really because it happened twice this week. The teacher thing and also another case. I was feeling really down. Turns out humans are capable of making the same mistake twice. A lesson well learned by me.

In any case my brother gives me a present someone had sent to me over school. It's funny how a simple gift like origami, a drawn stick figure, and some rice krispies treat can seem so lovely.

In any case, why didn't he give it to me as soon as he saw me? Why did he just so happen to remember as SOON as I needed it? Perhaps this might be the doorway to the next important chapter in my life. As I am taught, all good things come from only one place, and for this I am thankful. If this IS the beginning of a new chapter, then I am grateful that I have lived these past couple of years, instead of regretful. :)

On Pleasing People

2010-11-23T19:44:00.000-08:00

It was approximately 2 years ago that I had a visit from a friend in Chicago. He and I are have one of those friendships where you rarely agree on something, but the awesomeness of intelligent argument give each other respect and the feeling of freedom to do mean things to each other and know you are kidding. (Thank goodness for great senses of humor. :D)

On one occasion he and I disagreed on an issue that seemed (to me at least) extremely obvious, the need to please people.

As I grew up I always had the mentality that if everyone were to make everyone else happy, then society would be awesome because then everyone would feel the need to worry about others. Bhuddistly speaking, he who has no desires does not suffer, because he is never disappointed, or SOMETHING like that. (Sorry Buddhists for butchering the quote. D:).

However, my friend had a different perspective on life. For the first time I was introduced to the idea that one has the right to not care about what it is that other people feel. Why? Since we live in a world where people are predominantly rushing towards different goals, those who slow down for others are going to be late for the prize, or whatever it is everyone is after.

I was appalled that someone could have such a high disregard for others feelings!!! This was COMPLETELY contrary to what I have been taught for years!!! In fact, if I were to try this, then I would not be able to sleep at night. Yet he made a compelling argument with, 'what are you a chick?'

As an impressionable teenager I could not resist this intelligent argument against kindness.

I would try to not care about what the people that were coming to see me at work were wanting. (I was the receptionist at a middle school). Unfortunately, it is very hard to not care about what a loud, angry, and uneducated parent is yelling at you. However when you try over and over again, you get better at it. Not necessarily do it well, but it is better than before.

As I continue this journey into the customer service realm, I felt I wasn't doing well in this field. (It would behoove me to say at this point that the reason I've continued to work on not caring about what other people think isn't because I believe in a sexist ideal, but rather because if I don't, people take advantage of me. It has never failed to happen unfortunately). I did know that I was doing better, but not awesome like, WHOA I'M THE BIGGEST JERK EVER! YES!

One of my colleagues at work was telling me how he is easily affected by what others tell him or say about the quality of his work. I saw myself in him. I imagine how he feels going home and thinking about those people that were mean to him and replaying the scenario with different variables to make this past situation better. Still I surprised myself when I told him not to care about what they say.

I don't know if this is a good thing for me or a bad thing.

Deep down inside I feel myself locked in a cage where I am telling myself that I should care, and that my personality is really careless at the least. Still, my head tells me that if I don't act like this that I WILL be walked all over.

In any case, I feel I reached a milestone today. I've realized that I finally don't care about what someone thinks SHOULD be what I need to do, and what I KNOW is not what I'm supposed to do or not do.

Yesterday at about 7:00AM, a very unfortunate teacher had a monitor go out on her. At that very moment I was beginning the end of my inventory, a project that was due at the end of this day. I had already forwarned all staff that I was extremely likely not to do their heat tickets. However, my hard work paid off since I was done at 12:00 noon! YAY!!! :D

I checked the amount of work that had piled up over the past 3 days. It was lots! :(

So I picked one school at random as I always do. Turns out that school had very little work at it. But I was going to do it anyway at one point right? So the very last computer issue I had was at one of the portables. I go out and knock on the door and there is no answer. As a gesture of politeness I leave the ticket so the lady knows I was there. (Big mistake).

I then got emails that afternoon where she was asking me where I was. I replied that I was out of the building and I would see her again tomorrow.

When I got there the next day (today), she didn't greet me at the door. Just kinda opened it and ignored me. I realized her monitor was broken and that it was almost out of warranty. I could have not explained this to the lady but as I am a kind person I did. She threw a fit at me and retorted that had this been done yesterday when she wrote the ticket, that there would be a better chance of meeting warranty. She said more and more things but who knows what it was really. At the end she just decided she wasn't going to talk to me.

My old self would've not known how to react. I would've stood there and perhaps even begged and pleaded for her to understand my position and perhaps make some sort of peace agreement.

Not new me.

After apologizing twice for, really nothing I did wrong, she decided that she just wasn't going to talk to me.

I cheerfully turned around and said, "Well, have a good day!" As I was walking out I wondered if she going to respond?

...

No?

"Bye!" I yipped. :)

Walked out of there with my head held up high! :D

I think I should've realized this a while back ago but it was not until today that I declare myself, unwalkable on!

This makes me feel good. :)

AAAAAHHHHHHH KNEW IT!!!!!!

2010-11-16T19:50:00.001-08:00

It's shocking how human beings don't learn that history repeats itself, but the names change

This is a story about me from 2007. three years ago! :(

====================================================

Hi there!

I'm not so happy right now. No it's not you. This time i just feel weird for some reason.

Look you're not big on opening up to people. For some reason, you just don't trust people. Actually, you do know the reason, but it's a little complicated for you.

You know how I told you that you wanted to feel safe and that's the reason you want to be with someone? Then I told you that I understood you, but I don't think you really believed me.

Then today happened.

I didn't mess up on my part. I did well. I had number one. I talked about what was needed in order to make a good public talk. Then I looked over to this one guy that used to be really cool, but then turned into a real douche. He's really critical of everyone and seems to think, or at least act, like he's better than everyone and everyone should be doing whatever it is that he's doing. Whenever he "gives advice" it ends up feeling like, you're doing crap so make it better. It isn't at all uplifting.

Anywho, I looked over to him and I saw him that he was checking his watch. Knowing him, I was thinking that I was going over my time. So I sped up extremely so that he wouldn't think anything. Why do I care? I have no cloo. This guy's not cool and I don't know why I even cared what he thinks. But I sped up and I ended up doing 7 or 8 minutes instead of the ten that I was supposed to be doing. The school's conductor then sorta made it obvious that I ended real early by pointing out EVERYTHING I said in real slow motion.

I felt like crap.

I still feel like crap.

Then I got distracted for the rest of the meeting just thinking about it. Then I started the most pathetic thing that I do for myself. I start pitying myself. But during this process I realized something.

...I haven't been hugged in a long time.

Like REALLY hugged. A hug that means I love you and I will always be there for you, so don't worry. I've been hugged recently, but they're courtesy hugs.

What's worse is that the last hug I got that was just like that was by the girl that ended up breaking my heart into a million pieces. So I have mixed feelings about it.

But the more I dwelled on that thought, I realized how much I want to be hugged. I realized how happy I was when I thought that someone out there was thinking about me. I PROMISE you that I have never been happier. I wish there was someone out there that thinks about me and that worries about me and that makes happy by just looking at me. Someone whom I could tell something to and KNOW that they were keeping a secret. Someone that I trusted wholeheartedly.

...crap...

Anywho, it sucks to know that I am alone. To be truthful I am... hmmm.... not envious or jealous of couples.... it's just that I wish that would be me too...

I don't trust people anymore. I don't talk to people about me. I try to be courteous to people. Especially those who want to be my friends. I try to be as friendly as possible. But I really don't want to talk to anyone. Not since the person I had trusted with my entire being ended up changing her mind. I know why she did, it's just that I thought we were past a certain stage. She should've......... told me something........ i guess....

Anywho, the reason I'm telling you this is because I found my mom's word's to b troo. It never ever works out with the first person you really REALLY like, and start treating as something special. I'm also telling you this because you don't believe me that I know what you feel, but I do. I wish a lot that there was someone that thinks about me and that wants me there. I want a hug! Oh well.

There's one more thing . . .

And If you think that I still don't understand what you feel, then I don't know how else to tell you this. I've completely opened up my heart to you. I know that you're not going to squash me about it and you're not going to bring it up in conversation ever again. I also hope that you don't tell anyone or show anyone this email. Otherwise I will be mad at you forever and I will prolly never ever talk to you ever again.

...i still feel like crap.

I thought helping you would make me feel better but I'm still here all alone.

All I can say is that good things come to those who wait. I'm still waiting to see if that's troo. But I trust Jehovah. It doesn't feel right, and I feel so lonely, but Jehovah is the only person I can put blind trust in. If he says something then it's most likely true and not doing it would be a diservice to me, no matter how crappy I feel about it right now.

...I'm going to take a nap...

==========================================

Yes, history is very funny like that.

It's funny I thought I wouldn't make the same mistakes but everything happened exactly the same! I'm still so dumbfounded that this is true! Makes me chuckle, :)

Well now I know the trick. Gosh, I thought there were different groups and that some could be treated differently but they're all the same.

...everything seems to have already a pre-established order, and ignoring the order never gives a different result.

I'm trying to be sad about this but I just can't!!! :( :( :(

I'm sad that I'm not sad!!!!

Well, at least this time I will save three months of my life! :)

Human Nature

2010-11-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

This following blog will be very incoherent as my thoughts are currently not on this, or really anything that I'm doing at the moment. In any case here I am, finding my self in a familiar emotional state that I didn't want to be in again.

There was a part of me that knew I was going to end up like this again. I knew the things to do and the things to avoid, but alas, I was led to believe I could be myself and get away with it.

I would say the following applies to only a specific gender that I will not mention here, but as I've run this through my mind in the countless hours of lost sleep, I've determined the following, which is perhaps common knowledge of most people who have spent their lifetimes on this planet.

We humans want what we cannot get, and the things we find attainable are the things that we pay the less attention to. I will pose a simple example.

In the times of old, people needed to make fire in order to survive. Eventually someone found a way to make fire by superheating flammable items, i.e. two sticks of dry wood. In the hypothetical event that a person of our era were to travel to the past and bring with them lighters, people of the past would give many grand things for them. Lighters would have a higher net worth and could easily be used as huge bargaining chips. Men could obtain women, clothing, or heck, use them themselves to light torches to see, light arrows to war with, and perhaps even use as a weapon itself.

In our times one could obtain a lighter by simply placing 50 cents on a store counter. Therefore, were I to offer a man a lighter in exchange for his daughter, this man would probably smack me in the face. However, if I were to offer a man 50 billion dollars in exchange for his daughter's hand in marriage, this man would probably do everything in his power to make sure his daughter falls in love with me.

However THEREIN LIES THE POINT!!!! If this man was Bill Gates, then this would be MEANINGLESS TO HIM! Why? Because his net worth is 58 Billion dollars! Why would he trade his daughter for something that he already has? If he really loved his daughter, he would be much more focused on the more important issue at hand, do I love his daughter? Is his daughter safe in my hands? Will I do everything in my power to make sure that his daughter is happy? No amount of trips or things to do matter to him because, in reality, these themselves don't matter.

Unfortunately this is something that is only learned through experience.

I was recently asked a question somewhere along the lines of what exciting things have I done since I've turned 18.

Now that I've been past 18 for about 4.5 years I don't think I've done anything exciting. Had I been shown what I would become at this point in time, I would have been ecstatic to have known that I've done all I've accomplished. In fact here is a list of the things I can think of anyway:

I have a car.
I've gained freedom from my parents
I've taken trips to other cities on my own
I've started my own business? Sorta? Kinda? Well, I've invested, how's that
I got a job
I've ascended the ranks at my workplace
I've made acquaintances with many adults in the community. (In fact I can't shop at the Walk-Mart on West Little York and Fry)
I've made acquaintances of many teachers
I've grown devilishly handsome
I've been able to demonstrate an impressive work ethic to many administrators and worked under 13 principals. 9 of which I trust heavily, APART from my current boss.
I've gotten some college done.
I've continued to extend my image to many congregations but not necessarily because of my actions but because it's hard to forget a 16 year old looking boy that gives a 30 min. talk about the bible.

Huh.... I think I'm kinda famous. Lol....

Yet even with these accomplishments, I don't feel like I've done anything special, not necessarily because any of this isn't special, but rather because once it's done it's done, and there's really nothing to show for it.

I've done all these things but the only thing left out of them is memories and a large people network that I can look into in case I ever need something. Yet even though I've met all these people, they are just what they are, contacts. I wish I could say that most of them are my friends and that they specifically worry about me at night and that I worry about all of them but this is not so. We barely talk and I have very few fond memories for the amount of people I know.

Does this mean I shouldn't have done all of this? No not at all. What I'm trying to illustrate is that all of this really ends up adding up to just experience points that allow you to go to the next level, but you don't have anything that you can show for it.

The only thing I really wish would've been different, was that I had someone there to share this time with.

The Attempt

2010-08-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

The oddly shaped moon was missing a sliver that would show up in a few days. It lit up the night sky well. The middle of April however deserved an opening exhibition from her. She rose up in her finest yellow gown and was immediately embraced by the dark caresses of the night, until these wiped her face clean of her makeup and she bared her beautiful pale skin for all to see.

The spring night breathed on humanity, blowing away their weak amount of warmth with its wintery night breath. This was the very reason he had decided to wear his jacket that evening.

He walked along the park's pathways next to the man made river. During the day one would notice its uniformity, its unnaturalistic, shape, yet the night dressed it in flickering spots of its lover's visage. It seemed so natural, so beautiful.

He enjoyed the night lamps luminescence. Just enough to see but still not bright enough to steal away the darkness. Such were the thoughts of the loneliest man this side of the planet. Simple, pointless, but seemingly worth noticing. At this point, there was no interest of thinking of people. Such is the disinterest of thoughts of the loneliest people in any side of the planet.

As he walked he came across a small bridge that crossed over. Unthinkingly he walked unto it and stood by the edge just looking down. The river's flow stroked his mind and calmed him with its rhythm. It was complemented by the friends sitting at the cafe table across the bridge. His mind slowed down and he thought of all the things he was leaving behind. Life had him at crossroads, and there was nothing he could do about it. "Lose, live and move on", he kept telling himself. Maybe if he told himself this many times it would come true.

He wiped the left side of his forehead twice. Something had brushed his face? No, it was still there. He looked up; it was the stare of a person, an obvious stare. Where? He turned, and saw the group of people talking. They were on the move, about to cross the bridge. From their faces a pair of brown eyes; distinguishable because of their clarity? Was it because he was staring at them too hard? He didn't know or didn't even have time in those milliseconds to comprehend what was happening. She stared down, obviously shy at the person that was looking back at her.

They walked slowly. Who knows how many of them there were. "Not more than eight" he figured, but this afterthought was barely forming, and still hadn't caught his attention, and at their next steps it dissipated along with his attention span. She didn't seem too interested in any of her male companions. She seemed rather preoccupied with her shoelaces. In fact, the way he was standing over the water in a thinking pose, he seemed like such a loner. Sad, yet strong. Looking to the future, mysterious in his way of posing for her.

They got closer and closer and he couldn't stop staring. He wanted to have her and not in fleshly manner. He thought of what could be, but not what would be. She obviously liked him but as men usually do, he did not notice it. He thought of what would happen if he talked to her. It would start with that hi. He would get her number. She would be excited to get it. They would meet at his favorite deli to get breakfast. He would order for her. They would talk but he wouldn't be too involved at first. He knew his latest experience wouldn't allow him to get close. She would think he wasn't into her and she would be even more attracted to him. She would enjoy the challenge. She would try her hardest to please him, wear the dresses he would lift his eyebrows at, research the topics he found interesting, color her world his favorite color. He would eventually find a comfortable spot. He would become himself. He would show her his feelings and she would feel the sense of accomplishment in being able to crack his male code. She would own the key to his heart and she would open up all his thoughts and his thoughts and emotions would fall into her hands as puzzle pieces that would eventually overwhelm her. As she would start to figure out the puzzle, and image of him would start to form that completely contradicted that mysterious man she had met that fair spring night. Disappointed she would start to become reserved. He would continue to pour himself out to her and she wouldn't know how to tell him to stop. She wouldn't want to finish the puzzle, but it would be too late by then. He would be hooked, depending on her to catch his melting heart.

Perhaps if she slowly stopped sharing herself with him?

And slowly the conversations would diminish in valuable content. She would start sharing only the normal things that were happening in her day. The morning routine, the daily hustle and bustle, the evening preparations for the next day. Soon the phone calls would slow down and the text messages would become more and more basic. He would feel his lifeline disappearing, and he would pour more of himself out so she would notice that he needed her. Maybe then she would realize she couldn't leave. Eventually she would flat out tell him that there were things that she wasn't going to tell him. He would try and give her her space, but slowly inside he was dying to know how she was, where she was, who she was with. His thoughts would dwell on the days that they would share everything. Eventually the talks would stop. They would meet one last time, and they would say goodbye; part towards different places through paths each wasn't willing to take with the other.

As they walked past him she looked up at him and he didn't waste the opportunity.

"Hi..." he half whispered.

"Hey..." she responded.

Her company slowed down. They enjoyed the rest of the night in conversation.

Storm in the Garden

2010-08-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

Like a great man once said, 'fool me once, shame on.... shame on you.... [long pause] well when you fool me you can't fool me again'.

Unfortunately that's not how people really are. Why?

I'll tell you my story. This is a story about a walk down a park. A very beautiful park with trees and flowers. The air smells fresh, the pollen in the wind gives the pleasant scent of vegetation. Excpet I've been here once before.... Last time I was here it didn't go so well.

I remember that a small cloud formed in the sky. So fluffy and cute it was. It maybe even accented the pale blue ceiling above me. Then there were more, and more, and more. Then wind came and started blowing the trees leafless. The branches were now bare, seemingly scratching the itching grayness of the sun's absence. What started out so small grew bigger and bigger.

I was so scared, so... intimidated.

Ever since then I've always carried an umbrella, just in case. I've avoided this beautiful park, just because it's the worse place to be when a storm comes around.

But today I came again, and silly me, I left my umbrella home.

Look a cloud... Just like last time...

Computing While Young

2010-05-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

You know, having a job in technology services, I deal a lot with the people that don't have much love or experience with technology, and, although this is going to sound wrong, I thought... that more EXPERIENCED people were the ones that had an issue with technology.

Yes I have seen the error in my ways. Just because I see a young teacher doesn't mean that he/she gets technology right away. They too can be puzzled by all the buttons and the lights and the plugs.

Dear old people, I apologize for my rude assumption. It turns out that young people can be technologically retarded as well.

Then again!!!!

Geriatrics have something wrong too!!! JUST because I am young doesn't mean I understand ALL types of technology!!! In fact I can tell you one of the stories from when I started this tech job. . .

[harp music][hazy edges]

It was a muggy ugly morning in early September when I walked into the diagnostician's office at Sheridan. Not a cloud in the sky. She greeted me with her hands in the air as if praising the lord for my arrival.

I rubbed my six pack and said, how can I help you young lady.

She got out of her chair and reached for her cane. Her gray hair glistening in the sunrays that penetrated her dirty window. . .

"My Xp100 is not functioning correctly", she pleaded.

I walked over to the table she was at. She pointed at the large keyboard on the table. I immediately could tell what was wrong with it.

"of course!" I yelled "you're missing a monitor!"

I reveled in my ingenuity. Surely this golden aged lady had missed that.

"It doesn't have a monitor sweetie"

What. . . .

"So how do you see what it types!?!?!?!?"

"It comes out on this piece of paper that you put in!"

[Detour!!! Ok like a few months ago me and some friends were talking tech at Mickey Dees and we were just talking about devices we would invent. I came up with a laptop that had a printer on the bottom. Like on one side you inserted a sheet of paper and whatever you typed it wold instantly print it!!! Man I outdid all those other fools with my GENIUS invention!!! Turns out that it was invented already, like 80 years ago or however long the typewriter's been around . . . :-@]

Puzzled, I looked at the keyboard, and looked at the keys. . .

"So what's wrong with it?"

"Well, when you type a it writes t and when you type s it writes y. None of the keys are typing what they're supposed to type!!!"

"How interesting, well maybe we can reinstall windows on it. What windows version does it have?"

"Oh honey this isn't a computer. There are no windows in it!"

"Hmmm. . . Well then I will replace the keyboard!"

(Old lady shakes her head and throws up in disappointment).

[harp music][haziness fades away]

Yes, I may be a young whippersnapper, but I don't know anything about your typewriters and laserdiscs and vcr's and 6tracks (or was it 8-tracks). The only thing I can relate to with older people when I try to talk to them about the old times is how we would try to make a music cassette by listening to the radio and just pressing record on a blank cassette whenever the commercial was over. On a lucky time we would get a good recording on a song we actually liked!!! Then we would make mix tapes for the girls we liked. . . Siiiighs. . . . .

Then they scoff at me and tell me that I'm not old enough to relate with them and they laugh hysterically as they walk away. (That or they tell me they had CDs when I was doing that and it just makes me feel stupid. . . ).

Stupid Apple!!!

2010-04-10T11:58:00.001-07:00

As a very respectful person, it's always hard to knock someone down so publicly and especially in what could be considered their place of residence, but GOSH APPLE!!!! So I was reading a certain article and it reinforces something that really grinds my gears about apple.

Seriously apple, DOUBLE THE PROFIT OF SOMETHING!?!?!?

Personally, I am one of those people that like to make others happy. Sometimes I'm making too many people happy and I end up making myself unhappy, yet on the other hand, I end up satisfied because I made others happy. . .

Hmmm...

So It really tosses my salad whenever someone takes advantage of poor innocent people out there who don't know any better (like apple to apple fanboys)

[To be honest, I thought apple fanboys were knowledgable about computers but c'mon! NOTHING justifies overpaying for a computer! WHY?

1. It is outdone in 6 months

2. It is cheaper in 3 months.

3. It's a stupid idea!

No one that is knowledgeable on computers would overpay for anything tech! Hmmm]

If you didn't click on the link above, I will tell you the story.

The Apple ipad costs 259.60 to make. Soon the price to make an apple ipad will lower because one of the chips inside (which is composed of three separate chips now) is going down in price because there is a newer version of that chip making the current one obsolete.

The price will most likely stay the same however.

Also if the battery inside of the ipad goes out, they will charge you 99 dollars.

(Those 99 dollars will give you a used ipad that looks like new. (Refurbishment).

Apple is the total contrast of one of my favorite tech companies, Google.

Google is a company that focuses on pleasing its end user, us. For that reason it gives things away for free. Sure that's bad for whatever industry that they touch, but it's good for us right? (though it's somewhat of a stain on their "Do no evil" motto).

I have a headache today so I think I will take an Advil.

Things I Do Not Like

2010-04-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

There is a lack of motivation on my part to do pretty much anything. I have been poisoned with the instant gratification ideal of the world that we are living in.

Because of such poisoning to my brain, every time that I sit down to blog I have no idea what I should blog about. In turn you people get a blog once every decade or so it seems.

Normally I would not care, but I just realized that I remember doing my 50th post a long time ago and we are barely at 65. This upsets me and I don't like the looks of this. We should be SUPER advanced by now.

So what I plan to do is now list all the things I hate. Hopefully I don't spin off and start talking about them because I want to be able to refer to this list whenever I have the time to blog about something and I don't know what to. I'm sure to read this and get ANGRY and then start writing about this stuff

This is, btw, in no particular order.

People that ask in a movie that you are both watching for the first time "why is he/she. . ." why are they . . ." "where is the . . . ", in fact, anyone asking me stuff during a movie is annoying. GO EAT SOME POPCORN!
People that say one thing and do another, but don't realize that they're doing the opposite of what they "stand for" and because of that, they still preach to everyone about NOT doing something. Like a health nut that eats baked chips.
People that don't have social skills and they are not aware of them, and I don't mean like an emo that doesn't know it's weird to stare at people and not talk to them. I mean like someone that talks a lot and doesn't know people are annoyed by them but talks anyways and thinks they are the best thing since sliced bread.
People who's personality doesn't match their voice!
People that are TOO friendly, but then again, I don't like people who are NOT friendly. . .
Rude waiters. I mean, YOUR TIP IS IN MY HANDS!!!
Tweens (or even teens) that don't know how to eat at a restaurant or how to talk to waiters or order right, but were at the same time FORCED to come along WITH ME! (well, not teens I guess. Maybe just tweens).
Whoever eats the last slice of pizza.
People who question me and my genius ideas.
Apple
Apple's overpriced, non-compatible with everything anyone uses' crap! I mean C'MON! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO NOT HAVE FLASH! Sure I get the multitasking and maybe MAYBE even the not-allowing-apps-like-a-calendar-app-hate beacuse it may compete with your stuff (which is STUPID btw) but going against EIGHTY FREAKING !@# !@(# &!(@(#%)@#*#!)$ PERCENT OF THE INTERNET BECAUSE FLASH MAKES YOUR PRODUCTS BUGGY!!!!! THAT'S THE STUPIDEST IDEA EVER! YOU SHOULD MAKE YOUR PRODUCTS GOOD ENOUGH TO HANDLE THE STUPID FLASH!
APPLE!
Kids who think they are grown ups.
Grown ups who think they are mature/overly mature grown ups.
Adults in general.
The fact that everyone thinks I am in charge and I'm not. I'm not a LEADER people! I don't like to take charge! I am a follower! Whenever I give an opinion, it is to be ignored! DON'T DO AS I SAY!!!!
The fact that beer makes my kidneys hurt. . . :(
Mommies that trust me.
Music that is REALLY REALLY good for the first 2 times that you hear it, and then gets old.
COPS!!!
oh crap. . . I have to turn in my taxes!!! :( :( :( :(

Ok I have a headache. I'm pretty sure I have something to write about now. I'm hungry too. . . Today I set up some laptops and then I had to unset them up and then I had to sit and wait for the kids to finish their stupid test so I could go eat. Well I've been here since 6AM and I still haven't eaten. It's 2:41 right now. I need to put something in my tummy or I'm going to cry.

GET IN MAH BELLEH!!!!!!

On Looking Young

2010-03-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

I look like I'm 12. . .

Ok I exaggerate. I look like I'm 17.

(Actually I have a picture of myself at my 8th grade graduation where it would appear as if the picture was taken yesterday).

On top of that I have a height issue. :(

Now before we go thinking this is going to be a pity fest, I am actually writing this in a confused indignation. . . I mean, I know I'm supposed to be upset at something, but I'm not really sure what it should be. . . ?

Obviously I can't be upset at myself for having being dealt these cards. (It would've been nice though if I had gotten a 2 and a 5 instead of an old gas receipt and a monopoly get out of jail card because at least I would have a chance at the river).

So that's not what I'm indignant about.

See, at times I would like people to be honest with me and not say things like "We're coming up sh... um... running out of soap".

I know you were going to say short so just SAY IT! It's oooookkkkkk...........

. . .i get what you mean. . .

Or sometimes they will instinctively ask me to get something from some place high on top and then when they see me tip-toe they will do this face. . . :-{ or :-\ like, 'i should've gotten that'.

However then there's the other end of the spectrum. The people that look for me JUST to make a short joke! Something like: "It's ok if you joke around with me Jose. I'm very down to earth. I'm sure you know all about that though" [ensuing one-sided laughter]

So I am indignant. Yet I don't know why. I can't be indignant because people are TOO mean because then I have no reason to be mad at the people that ARE mean. Also I can't be mad at the mean people because then I can't get mad at the patronizers!

I'ts like asking a question and not liking the yes answer but not liking the no answer either and then getting mad at the answer giver. That just makes you a JERK! I don't want to be a jerk.

Fortunately I have nice hair I can flaunt at the ladies. :)

What do I want to write about. . .

2010-02-22T17:12:00.000-08:00

Rats, I am no longer in control of my life. . .

You know, sometimes you do things because there is a possibility that there will be the chance that things will come out great and you will get tons in return for your selflessness and there will be parades in your name and little school children will aspire to achieve levels of greatness such as yours.

It is these possibilities that allow you to take gambles in life. The big question of what if. . .

However as of right now I feel like if I have given a monkey a pack of C4 because I believed for some reason that it was a good idea to have it blow up the wall behind him just in case there was a ton of gold on the other side. The only problem is that this little monkey is not 82 yards away like I expected. Apparently it does not see the bananas that I throw in THAT direction, and now it lingers, wanting to play a game of volleyball with its new toy and now I have to appease the monkey so that the pack of C4 doesn't explode. I would like to take the pack away from the monkey and put it in my back pack, but the monkey doesn't want to let go and I don't want a situation where we're both pulling and one of us lets go and the pack of C4 hits my face and goes off.

It would be a very unpleasant experience.

I should have given the C4 to a robot. . . One who would already knows the pre programmed rules and gives me very little grief and the only reason it wouldn't do something for me is because it would like to have a little grease around the joints. (Yes I would get an older model robot not a shiny new one).

Now don't get me wrong, I never intended for the monkey to get killed with the C4, I rather just wanted him to place the C4 on the other side of the cave and then come back.

What I should've done is train the little monkey.

Then again, WHO TRUSTS A STUPID MONKEY WITH C4!!!!!

I'm an idiot.

I know this monkey means well and is only trying to please me with its monkiness, but I would rather he be far away and then come back empty handed.

Hmmm.....

I will try more bananas. If that doesn't work I will have to quit my job.

This sucks because I love love LOVE my job! Oh well. I hear there's a good tech job site called www.dice.com .

P.S. Dear Reader. This is not about you.

Sports

2010-01-25T14:51:00.001-08:00

Maybe there is something wrong with my manliness.

Today I was owned at sports by an old lady.

Of course, not in a way where she demonstrated her physical prowess' superiority over mine, but rather in a knowledgeable way.

Before anyone starts to blab about sexism and how there shouldn't be a distinction between men and women, let me stop you right there and tell you that I do not, 100%, support that theory. Why? BECAUSE MEN AND WOMEN ARE EXTREMELY DIFFERENT!!!!

This does not apply to the intellect however, as many a time has a woman shown her superiority in intelligence.

However you can't take this ALL the way as many people have tried to do where women are equal in everything and visa versa.

An example, sure chicks can drive 18 wheelers, but usually that will come with a stereotype, namely that she is gay, just like a guy that decides to wear a dress is. The big denial in everything is that stereotypes aren't true, BUT THEY REALLY ARE!!! I mean, how else do they come into existance! Sure it's true that the stereotyped group is not completely involved in the stereotype, but most of them are! And that is why they are being stereotyped! Otherwise the stereotype wouldn't have caught on in the first place!

"Oh yeah all mexicans smell like baby oil"

"Is that true?"

"Yeah it's totally true!"

Then you go and you smell mexicans everywhere, which isn't hard to do anymore because you live in America, and you will see that it is not true. Then the stereotype doesn't catch on. However if for some odd reason all mexicans DID smell like baby oil, then people would say: "Hey it's true!" and then everyone would make silly jokes about it like, "oh I got some rough treatment from this mexican and it's too bad because he wouldn't take my baby oil" or SOMETHING like that. It would be funny because people would say "Oh yeah because mexicans smell like baby oil! Ha ha ha ha ha !"

Well ladies, you can't be mad at the lady stereotypes that you get because you made them possible. It is your own fault. Just like a sex offender can't get mad because he won't be let into schools anymore. It is his/her own fault.

The POINT is, I am not sexist. . .

At least that's what I wanted to point out, but it seems I chose the wrong place in this blog to state that. . .

So I walk in to this office and the rather older lady is like, "Hey Jose! Did you watch the games last night?"

Notice how, since it is not sufficient that I be emasculated by a lady that watches one game last night that everyone will be talking about, she watched TWO games.

So that's TWO conversations that I could've had that morning, but I didn't.

My first mistake was opening my mouth, "what games?"

Then I get the look that you get when you do something stupid. Like saying retarded in a special needs class. (Which I've done as well, but that will be another blog).

"The playoffs! DUH!"

I should've known. We are nearing the end of winter and that is the only sport being played.

Then I mess up even more because I asked who were the teams playing.

I lost all manliness points after that. As i walked out of the office I can almost assure one that she wondered why I hadn't been called Nancy instead. It would've fitted with my past receptionist jobs and others as well. . .

At least I find comfort in my big hairy mustache.

Wow i'm blogging!!!!

2009-12-21T19:49:00.000-08:00

I wonder what I will write.

I wonder what awesomeness will come out of my head whilst I listen to music.

I doubt that anything of use will spew out of my mind since I am so preoccupied with the incoming words of the song.

Tell me something kind!

I had some visitors this past week! They were nice. They came from Kansas. Yes. I made Kansas jokes to them. They laughed. Perhaps not out loud, and perhaps they tried to make it seem like they weren't happy to hear the jokes, but I know that deep deep DEEP down inside they liked my Kansas jokes.

I am irresistible.

I also saw avatar. It was a cool movie.

Man it feels so weird trying to throw your emotions out in writing when you know you are being watched. I SO don't feel comfortable writing what I'm thinking anymore.

I guess I will close myself up in my head. All my secrets are for me. JUST for me. Muahahahahaha! NO SHARING!

Or swiping..... swiper....

Deception So High

2009-11-06T16:49:00.001-08:00

I heard of a mountain whose peak was so high
All other men feared ever making that climb
But glory was resting on its snow covered crest
I wanted to be the first there to rest

To the top of the mountain my boldness would go
Desire to reach the high top was its goal
So I gathered a crew of thirteen or so
And together our strengths we’d combine as a whole

“TO THE TOP!” I did yell
And onward we went
Our track we began
A step by step

But behind us a voice, so little by now
Yelled “Where are you going! You must come back down!”
To get to the top is a treacherous climb!
Only pain and suffering is what you’ll find

Nonsense! I yelled
Don’t listen my men
Discouragement rarely obtains someone Zen

Climb up we will do and reach for the top
Our glory depends on being first in this trot
For no one has ever gone up to the sky
Through the path we’ll take, nor those that can fly

Wait! He yelled, there’s something else you should know
Quiet! My retort echoed through snow
You will not discourage me, I won’t take defeat
Onward I’ll take this path oh so steep.

And covered my ears I did with my muffs
And climbed to the top of those treacherous troughs
A day did pass, then there were two
Finally three and we were almost through.

The weather was fine, it was almost too good
My instincts though told me: a wrong I pursued
My men were not tired, at least not too much
Our food had lasted even for the fat dutch

At last the top I caught in a glimpse
A fine dust of snow blew just like a mist
A refreshed feeling should have been in my head
But fear, or an instinct, caught me instead

I hesitated in taking last steps
But my men pushed me
With the strength they had left

I stumbled to the top, with fear in my chest
Yes I’d always had known I had tried my best
But now I was here, and something was off
And I cringed in fear through my coat which felt soft

And I got to the top and I nearly fainted
The sight was not nice in fact it was tainted
With the banner and seal that flew on that pole
That signaled that here someone had been before.

New Job

2009-08-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows how I really feel about computers. I like computers. They are pretty cool. In fact, they are like that kid that on your first day of school is playing basketball with his friends and sees you sitting by yourself and says, "Hey Kid! You want to play?" Then you say, "Sure" trying to seem really cool so he doesn't change his mind. Then you get all nervous because you remember that you really suck at basketball. And then by accident you make a three pointer and everyone thinks you are the best!

Yup. computers to me are really good..... :)

So it's no surprise that I was jumping for joy when I was called to be told that I got the job as a technology assistant at CFISD! I was ECSTATIC! Not because I hated my job as a receptionist, but because I would LOVE a job doing somehting with computers! (The money hike was also a plus!)

Now on my first day I was reassured of something that I've always thought to be true.

Chicks with computer skills are HOT! (By the ways, I would've thought there would be more guys doing this job, but mostly everyone here is a girl as well! :) Who knew?)

I don't know why.... maybe it's because I see that they can take care of themselves or something.... Hmmm.....

Anyways, I was paired with an Italian lady that knows how to run the system very well. (Oh and she also bartends! Lol). She took me everywhere and then we had sushi for lunch. She makes me laugh a lot. I felt REALLY comfortable with her.

OH! I think it's because people with technology abilities make me think that they are still children. It makes me think that they have a zest for life and that I will always be able to be honest with them because they will understand where I am coming from. Why? I have not clue.

I felt like being very much myself with this lady even though she is more than twice my age. This is REALLY weird because with people like this, I'm usually acting very mature and very closed up. So this was nice. I like people like this.

Then I was paired up with another lady three days after that and I felt pretty much the same.

Then three days after that I was paired with some guy and I also felt very much at ease with him. Then again, he didn't seem like the kind of person that would be hard to get along with even though he had some things to work out on himself. (Like the fact that he's a vegeterian but doesn't eat vegetables... Hmmm....)

Anyways, I'm out on my own now. and I have no clue what they want me to do.

So all I'm doing is going around to the schools that I'm assigned to and plugging computers up to the wall and everything. I've run into a lot of problems, but I get around them or I fix them. So it's all good in the hood I guess.

I think I am going to make a party for my friend. I'm also going to DJ a party on the second of september. I hope I do a good job. It will be my first solo gig with my equipment, so I hope I get everything in time.

Ah! I'm so excited!!! 8D

Pandora

2009-08-09T15:24:00.001-07:00

Still sick..... NEW JOB!

2009-07-26T14:33:00.000-07:00

As I was writing the title to this blog, I started out by giving an update of myself. But then I remembered that I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!!

Now i'm going to do my victory dance... heh.... huh..... gangster move here.... uhu... double twhirl... courtse and DONE!

I remember also why I like to trust my instincts a lot. See, this doctor had told me that I had allergies when I went to doctor's office half choking to death on my own phlegm. Of course, I KNEW for a fact that I didn't, but I didn't argue. See, when it comes to health thingymabobs. you're not supposed to argue with the doctor because OBVIOUSLY, the doctor is supposed to know more than you. You can't tell the doctor s/he is wrong. They do this for a LIVING and for the most part, they will always be right.

It's kind of like going to the restaurant and the waiter tells you what's in the food, and you say "no I disagree. I think you're wrong".

You're not supposed to do that because supposedly, the waiter is going to know more about the food in the restaurant than you.

So when I was told that I have allergies, I restricted myself to just giving the doctor a confused face and saying, oh!

Yet, as her medication failed, I giggled with glee because I knew more than the doctor in this case.

Then I started coughing again.

So I went back and they gave me something else. It seems to work a little, but it's still not curing me....

Grrrr.....

On the upside, I was told by a very nice young lady that my crackly voice makes me sound very sweet and trustworthy. (It actually came from the last person I thought would ever EVER compliment my voice! :)

I think this may have been a factor in having been hired for a NEW JOB!!!

Oh yeah! Victory dance again... uh...uh huh... coupe here.... pirouette there.... clap clap and DONE!

When I did the interview I knew that it had either gone REAL well or REALLY bad because it was over in about 15 minutes.

I came in and one of the interviewers was not there. I'm told it's usually three people doing the interview but this time it was just two people. I said hi in my little cracky voice and they said hi. I was then told to sit and I showed my last two evaluations and they asked me why I beat up kids at Hopper and then they asked me about my work with computers and then they told me to stand up and then one of them walked me out of the room and pointed at the elevator and said, "The elevator is THAT way". Then I said, oh, um.... thanks.

Then I got into the elevator and had a coughing attack....

Then I got out of the building and I tried a really loud scream!

Then I got a coughing attack again....

....then I threw up a little.

Then Gina called me and asked me if I wanted to work last year's schedule or if I wanted to work from 7:30 to 3:30 like the rest of the staff and I said 7:30. I had taken my medicine that causes drowsiness and I was dropped. So I missed the tech departments call and I missed David Villarreal's call to confirm my new salary....

So I had to call them back the next day...

YAY!!! More money! But then it is said by some people: mo money mo problems.

I don't care. I am EXCITED!!!! YAY! I love working with computers! I can't believe someone's willing to pay me to fix broken stuff!!!

And so I trade in my white collar for a blue one. I don't care. White collar jobs are never ones that appear on the calendars. You never see a "Office Workers" calendar featuring the sexy bods of male office workers like the receptionist, the accountant, and the salesman.

No...

...it's usually the sexy firemen and the hot construction workers!

Well, then again, techies aren't invited to the photoshoot, but it's a START!!!! And who knows! Maybe I will be the first one!!! Because all the ladies are DYING to see it I bet. :P

...

Hey! Even if they don't call for me for the calendar, I will have to make up my OWN calendar!!!

....but then I would have to include pictures of naked men with better bodies than me.....

...

...How about I just wait for the call.... you can put in a good word for me! :)

I'm Going to Die

2009-07-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

So as it is well known, I have been coughing for the longest time.

It all started with Dani, who got a cold. Then after he got the cold he got better, but he kept the cough that came with the cold.

It scared me the first time I heard it because it was night and there was this sudden burst of noise that woke me up. Turned out to be Dani who was coughing like crazy. Then he stopped coughing and for a second I was like, THANK GAWSHNESS!!!

Then he started going through an episode... hmmm..... I don't know how much trouble I could get into when talking about someone else's medical conditions.

So I'm going to talk about MY medical condition with this.

I got a cold and I was feeling like crap like with any sickness. The rough cough usually came and went but there was never any bad things that happened when I was coughing. This weekend though, I started to wake up at night coughing, but for some reason, I can't get air in to my lungs when I am coughing.

So I will process through my brain, a command that says, "Stop Coughing so I can Breathe!" My brain obeys the command because I think it realizes it is for its own good. However, when I force my coughing to stop, my air way is CLOGGED. I don't know what it's clogged with! It doesn't feel like its clogged with phlegm or any other type of liquid....

Usually when I start to choke on something, like say a piece of food or water or something, I will make this manly noise where I grunt violently, and I will become unchoked.

When I do that to this suffocating cough, it just forces the little amount of air in my lungs out, and then it's clogged again.

So the air can go OUT, but it can't get in.

I'm wondering if it could be a piece of skin? Something that got loose and for some reason lets the air out but not in?

Its only activated when I go through a violent cough episode.

Well, the point is, I feel like these are my last days here. I can't wait for paradise! This is going to be exciting! Yay!!!!

If anyone asks, Dani gets the laptop and the car. Oh and the zune. I've already specified that my parents get the money from my life insurance which will be pretty helpful for them. Unless Texas requires you to pay for the death certificate, in which case it won't help much.

I will write personal letters to all of those I've wronged but if they don't come out, I am going to hide them in between my mattresses.

Valeria and Ilse get the tiny french bible I own. I had other plans for it but I guess not anymore so yeah. (Its the deluxe version of the small bible. I ordered it RIGHT before they stopped making them and it is still in the original plastic thing it came in). I would've given it to someone else, but no one else knows how to read french.

*cough**cough**cough*

-GASP-

*grunt*

-GASP- -GASP- -GAAAAAAAAASSSP-

*cough*

*grunt*

.....

....I hate that, then I get all sweaty because, believe it or not, it makes you a little nervous to die.

Oh well....

Dani's getting better though, so that gives me a little hope. (He's still not out of the woods yet. He still wakes me up at night).

*cough**cough**cough*

...coughing scares me now...

Abby love gets my quarter collection. I collected all the quarters for the 50 states and I hope she can take care of them until I come back. Not that they will be worth much then but I would like to see my hard work not be pawned for 50 bucks or something like that. (No not even a MILLION DOLLARS ABBY!)

Louis gets little black book of art.

Yes, he will make fun of me when I get back, but I don't care. Oh! And along with the little black book he gets all the comics I've ever written.

Everything else stays in my family's possession. You will be able to see it if you go to whatever room they decide to make the Pepe memorial room.

Oh, and Mode gets my phone.

So when I come back I better get all these things back! I'm letting you BORROW THEM! So you won't forget about me but I WANT THEM BACK!

I think that's about it. My dad says he found some good medicine that Dani was taking and he's going to give me some so I guess its cool. :)

Peace guys!

On Being Sick...

2009-07-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

There are many pros and cons when it comes to getting sick. Of course, I usually like to see ONLY the positive, but it's really hard whenever you're coughing up half a lung and the one that's still inside hurts like a high bet on a poker game.

....

....there is a bug on my screen....

...

....i don't want to get my screen dirty....

....OK! As I was saying, it's really nice to sit around and do nothing for the whole weekend. Watching TV and playing video games is the best. Plus all the attention mommy gives you is undeniably awesome.

*cough* *cough* *cough*

Then again I have to be reminded that a bunch of things that are usually safe to do are not so safe to do anymore. For example, it is now unsafe to walk barefoot, even though it is 248 degrees outside and I will shoot myself if I put on some socks. Either that or my foot will get sweatier than me that one time I almost got caught air guitarring in the school bathroom. (It's embarrasing because when seen from the wrong angle, it looks really bad......).

I mean SERIOUSLY! What the heck does ice cream do to your throat! Does its delicious chocolateyness turn on a secret dormant gene inside the bacterium that makes you go cuckoo for cocoa puffs or something? Is putting ice cubes inside my drink like giving Popeye a can of spinach?

Its just not making sense parents!!! YOUR CRAZY WIVES TALES ARE RIDICULOUS!

Grrr.....

*cough* *cough* *cough*

[sniff]

On the plus side I really like all the attention that I get. This is one of the reasons I refuse to see a doctor.

Although it starting to seem like if I should.... my lungs are aching from all that coughing.

Fortunately, unlike many people, I do count with an insurance that will help me out, but I don't know how good it is. I haven't really used it since the last time that I went to the doctor, the one time I stuck my hand into the filing machine to fix it and got caught.

It's really cool to see someone put stitches on you by the way! It's also not cool to have a high school girl freak out over your bloody hand.

Well, there's always a first time for everything. :)

I'm sick....

2009-07-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

The best part about being a hallucinatory person, is that whenever they do something, it's not going to make any sense afterwards, but it will make great reading/party videos. That's why I'm writing this at this moment, right now.

So I had a weird dream last night. It involved me and my family and us being in a rush to get to the meeting and I was rushing so badly that I forgot to put any clothes on. For some odd reason, it also made a lot of sense to run instead of taking the time to turn on the cars. So as we are running to the meeting, I am covering myself up with blankies and whatnot, and then I realize, wait a minute.... "Why am I covering myself up with blankies?"

OMG! I forgot to put on some clothes!

Of course we are already halfway there and there are people all around us so I need to run all the way back.

The weird part about this is how comfortable I felt like that, even though there were people all over the place who were looking at me. They were all like, "Lol, this guy!".

*cough*

[sniff]

So then I asked for the house keys and they throw them to me and I missed them and they fell down a sewer.

....

Then I woke up and I thought there was someone in the room. Which was scary for a little bit. I don't know why I thought that, but I did.

Hmmm....

This is really stupid. You know what this reminds me off?

It reminds me of ALL the times when *cough* we are sleeping at night, and it's really dark, and we hear a noise. It sounds like footsteps or like a creaking floor or I don't know whatever the noise could be. We just know that it's something in there. So instead of checking it out or moving to somewhere safer, we cower in the sheets.

Which is exactly what I did. Well, not exactly cower, but I was like... "Hmmm... that sounds scary.... I'm going back to sleep".

Yup, that's what I did. I heard something scary and I went back to sleep.

*cough*

I think humans do that and ostriches. They get scared and they put their heads in the ground, hoping that no one can see them.

I need some Robitussin or something.... I hate being sick when I'm supposed to be having fun.....

Awesome Hair

2009-06-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

So throughout this summer, I've had time to reflect on things that I do not usually have time to reflect upon. Yet unlike most people, who would take this free time to reflect on world problems like hunger, poverty, economical solutions to the orphan's problems on getting adopted, I reflected upon my hair.

It's way better than I thought it was!

Usually I place a hint of hair gel on my head so as to make it do what I want it to do. However the other day, as I was rushing out of my house to do probably something that was not that important, I did not have enough time to mess with my hair. And as it so had just happened, I had trimmed my hair a little the day before.

I DO mean trimmed by the way, and I say that because I did not get a full blown hair cut.

Sure TECHNICALLY I got my hair cut, but it's not like a FULL blown haircut.

See here's the deal; a haircut is like when you sit down and there is someone with a machine that's going around your head making sure that your hair looks nice from every angle.

I didn't do that. I took my dad's little hair cutting thingy and I stared at the mirror, and made sure that my hair looks nice if you are looking at me STRAIGHT in the face.

There are many advantages and disadvanteges to this. One the one hand, I get a free haircut that whenever I look in the mirror, looks GREAT. One the other hand, I now have to talk to people straight into their faces. That and I have to hang around the wall whenever I go anywhere so people don't see the back of my head. I'm parties' official wall holder. Oh and then there's the part where after a few months of doing this I notice I have a mullet. The bad part is that, it's not because I can see the mullet, but whenever I go to Barnes and Noble's, a bunch of random guys will want to high five me and tell me to rock on.

What was I saying...?

Oh yeah! I have GREAT hair.

Apart from it having an occasional mullet, it turns out I don't need hair gel! My hair is low maintenance! I started to notice this when I went to Six Flags and I got wet and the hair gel on my head washed off and then my hair dried and I wasn't teased endlessly.

Yeah so I am happy and my hair is awesome.

....i was going to write something else............. i hate it when my concentration gets broken.....

Super Duper Nice People

2009-06-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

Being a nice guy, or girl, sucks.

Actually, I know that there is a bit of confusion if you're NOT a nice person, but if I could explain with one of my simple illustrations.

I don't know if anyone is familiar with the boa constrictor but it is not a nice animal. Not only is it a carnivore, which means it survives with the demise and blood spilling of other animals, but it also makes sure that while it is killing you, you have the most uncomfortable death ever. Of course, the boa constrictor doesn't REALLY know there are better, more humane ways to kill things it wants to eat. All it sees is: I am really long, I am really fat, I HAPPEN to have really strong body muscles, and that thing over there that I want to eat won't let itself and it really looks delicious. So I'm going to sneak up behind it and wrap myself around it and when it gives up struggling, I will put it in my mouth.

As I mentioned, the boa constrictor has no control over its thoughts.

This is kind of like the mean guy. The mean person (or as I hear, the NORMAL person) will go out and he will do mean things that will make GOOD people feel bad (though most likely they will not react publicly to it) and they will KNOW that they did a mean thing, but because of they're meanness, they will not feel bad.

Then there is the NICE people that are kind of like those snakes that are imitators but not REALLY a deadly snake. I'm pretty sure there is a snake out there that LOOKS like the boa constrictor but really isn't. It just grew like that. It's really more like a herbivore or omnivore, snake. It kills things only when it runs out of plants to eat.

So the Omnivorous snake sees an animal and it's like, "Ha! I'm a boa constrictor!" and the other animal is like, O-M-G it's a boa constrictor! Then the snake is like, "No I'm not, I was just kidding", but by the time that the he says this, the other animal ran away becaause it doesn't want to be eaten.

Because of this slight social invconvenience, the boa constrictor imitator does not have many friends and thereby sits alone and cries all the time because it wants to be someone's friend.

Guess which one I am.

That's right, I'm the animal that ran away and is like, "Oh crap! A boa constrictor!"

...

...I don't think I made sense at all.

Ok what I'm trying to say is that I have a really hard time being NORMAL and when I try, I can't keep it up and I kinda end up sounding like a douche.... :(

I know, I know.... why couldn't I have just said that....

50th Post! Specialness Mentioned

2009-06-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

I wonder who i will dedicate this 50th post to! I will find out at the end of the blog.

I would just like to point out here how lame Apple is.

As I am doing my usual system check where I make sure that everything is working fine on my laptop, i realized I needed to do a quicktime update.

Usually I don't really care about quicktime updates but I've started to ever since I got a new camera! The Kodak Z1015. It's a really weird single lens reflex camera that allows me to mess with things in really extreme ways. For example there's a shutter speed of 1/16,000 (which come to think about it, I haven't tried yet but I imagine that a picture like that would come out extremely dark.... unless i mess with the aperture!!! OOOH! Hmmm...... i will see what I can do with that.

ANYWHO!

This camera takes quicktime video in 720p. The bad part is that it is quicktime video. Now, as I've said before, quicktime video is one of the best qualities of video that you can find out there! (That and AVI but AVI is huge, PLUS when you try to mess qith AVI files, it's really hard because there's nothing out there that messes with it! (Except video converters).

Really, I would have to buy special software to mess with AVI and quicktime files, and I'm not in the mood to do so.

Well, the reason I bring up the quicktime update thing is because I was so bored while doing this that I found this small tidbit of information on the EULA for updating quicktime:

Important Notice to QuickTime 6 Pro Users
Installing QuickTime 7 or later will disable the QuickTime Pro functionality in prior versions of QuickTime, such as QuickTime 6. If you are a QuickTime 6 Pro user and you proceed with this installation, you will need to purchase a QuickTime 7 Pro registration code in order to regain QuickTime Pro functionality. After installation, visit the Apple Online Store to purchase a QuickTime 7 Pro registration code.

WHAT!!! Seriously?

So dear apple, you have people spend 30 bucks on software that YOU will erase one day so that they can spend 30 bucks again in the future?

Now sure I would say I sound hypocritical (and maybe the wrong person to say this since I pay Microsoft 15 bucks a month for a music service that I can take around with me where ever I go) but there's absolutely no reason to buy this quicktime pro. I'm going to open the Quicktime and see what PRO things they offer.

Just give me a second here....

Oh wait hold on it's updating.....

OK now I'm turning it on. Hey! I can also see what the update was or something!

...

Ok I see nothing updated. Probably fixed some sort of bug or something. Um.....

....ok as I am seeing it here, the PRO version has things that SHOULD come free such as, open a New Player (which I can do without the Pro Version, I mean, JUST CLICK ON ANOTHER QUICKTIME!!!) There's Image Sequencing for Videos I suppose? (I'm thinking that's like a picture of different frames picked out at random from the video so that you can see the video in a nutshell). I don't really see why I would pay for that. (Plus my camera can do that too!)

Oh wow, the fit to screen buttons were moved to the pro edition! I used to use that to resize the video screen. You can still do it without the Pro version! Just click and drag the corner (OR push CTRL+F to make it full screen) but now I got to pay to do that?

Ok enough of this nonsense, there's no good reason to buy the Quicktime Pro Version.

Now I have to find me a good video editor so that I can use it.

I am TOO sleepy! I woke up today at 6:30 because I was asked to babysit a little boy while doing early service. I wanted to tell the mom that SHE could take him to early service so that I could go back to sleep, but I am too nice.....)

I know who I will dedicate this blog to! I will dedicate this one to two people! Louis and Abby because they have graduated! Plus I have no money to get them a gift.

...

...happy GRADUATION!

Ok I will try to find some spare change somewhere. But seriously guys! You have worked hard and now you guys are out in the real world, where if you don't find your act quickly, you will sink so far down so fast your heads will implode.

...

Congratulations!

Dancing in the Rain

2009-06-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

There's nothing better than a guy in love. I think if EVERY guy in the world was in love, then there would not be any problems at all! (Unless you're Anakin Skywalker).

I'm daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaancing in the rain....

The Constitution of Intelligence

2009-06-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

For a few years I have wondered about what really constitutes intelligence.

Really, I don't think it can really be based on knowledge because I know some knowledgeable people that have done extremely stupid things like tying themselves to rope that's tied to a car (or dog) and have the car or dog move at high speeds as they stand on top of a skateboard.

Sure these people have a lot of things stored up in the brain area, but they are not intelligent.

Finally I think I have it.

Intelligence is really attained when you know what is going to happen when you do something, and you are able to act according to the outcome that you wish to happen.

For example, I have lived with my parents long enough to know what they want to do and what they are thinking when they see something or find themselves in a situation. So for example, if I wanted them to not let me go to a place where they really wanted me to go, I would do something "stupid" so as to have them be embarrassed of me and question my ability to stand in front of people that they might want to impress.

Ha HA!

Really I think I have to quote countless movies that have said this; life is a game of chess.

I wholeheartedly believe that this is true.

You should learn how to play chess. It's good for you and you will succeed in life if you learn how to play it.

...

I wonder if there are chess apps out there... OH YAHOOLIGANS!!!

Watching Bad Movies...

2009-06-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Ugh!!!! I just saw Taken. That's the movie where Gui Gonn Jinn's daughter gets kidnapped and it just so happens that he's an ex... something. Something for the government that gave him James Bond like karate skills. So he kills everyone and then his daughter is saved by him.

I hated every chick in this movie.....

But the general idea of the flick was pretty good. I can see where they wanted this to go. Really bad execution though. I didn't want that girl to be rescued. She made me ANGRY!!! Another reason why I wanted her to stay kidnapped was so the guy could prove his wife wrong. Jean Grey is his wife and she thinks it's ok for her 17 year old daughter to follow U2's European tour around all of Europe. Of course dad says it's not a good idea and mom throws a fit. He's ALWAYS right in this movie and you want him proven right!!!

Things that I wanted to see happen that didn't happen... I wanted Gui Gon Jinn to tell his wife off and he DIDN'T do it!!! He's awesome!!! (He's the only reason that I wanted to see that girl rescued, just to see him happy). I wanted that girl to realize that her REAL dad loved her more than her fake rich dad. I also wanted that guy that told him good luck on the phone to die in the end, not in the middle of the story. Yet it turns out that he died in the middle of the story because, of course, the ones doing the kidnapping aren't the ones at the top, where the girl ends up. Then again, the whole realism thing should've gotten thrown out since, what's so realistic about an old guy killing younger healthier looking people.

Not very realistic....

I give the movie a seven out of ten... Mmmm... maybe a six.... Maybe a Six point five.

This movie also puts a dent in my whole, perfect chick thing.

As previously stated, I hated every single chick in this movie. Why? Because they all DIDN'T CARE!!! And part of my perfect chick is a girl that doesn't care. (Or at least, pretends not to care).

Ok... thinking about it, I think I want her to care a TON about me, but not about things that I do. Such as like, the guy things that I do.

Hmmm.... but then that means that I get some chick that lets her hair grow out like a hippie because she doesn't care.

Hmmm......

Man this sucks....

Ok ok ok, how about a girl that cares about what I think of her, and doesn't care about what everyone else thinks of her as long as whatever she's thinking is ok with me, but still cares enough to look good and not let herself go, as well as does not care about my guy habits, AND plays video games and knows how SOMETHING technological works, whether it's a programming language, a car, or the entire make up of WOW.

....

...oh my god, i just made myself laugh. That was the dumbest thing I've ever written.

Oh well. There's always celiba..

OH GAWSH NO!!!

Weird Questions by Some People

2009-05-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

Ok so now I am FINALLY able to announce the question that everyone had been asking me! (Except now no one's asking me and I kind of feel like a douche for stating this now since I'm not being asked anymore. I think, however, that I would feel MORE like a douche if I would not write about it because I already said that I would).

About a month ago I was sitting at my desk during first period when I was asked by my lovely student assistants about my love life. Namely if I had a girl friend. Of course the answer is no because I haven't met someone that I like. This is not to say that I haven't met people that aren't interested, yet they seem to want to talk to me about OTHER things that aren't really their point. (GET TO THE POINT PEOPLE!!!)

I say this because of a recent conversation I had with a classmate a few weeks ago. I had just triumphantly skipped out of my English class, where I had turned in a paper that had been assigned to me 4 months earlier, and that I had started and finished three hours before.

As you can tell, I had a good feeling on the paper. (I wasn't dissapointed either, as I later received it with a big fat 91 stuck on it).

Seeing that we were released early from class I went to the next building where I sat outside my class on those comfortable chairs they have in the lobbies. Well it just so happened that I sat next to a girl that goes to my class. We struck up a conversation and I realized that she too had just finished her paper, albeit the night before. But just like me she had finished it while taking a day off of work.

"What a silly billy!" I thought.

We were talking and she talked about how she's 26 and she works in a clinic doing who knows what. Then I talked about how I worked as a receptionist, (strangely not knowing exactly what my obligations are either as they so often change).

We were laughing (because she turned out to be a silly lady) and she was laughing (because I'm hilarious) and I told her how it's cool to be able to take time off of work for whatever reason. She responded with more reasons for how it's a good thing to take time off of work when needed because you might get sick, you might have a family emergency, or you might have a college day. All really great reasons to take time off of work!

Oh, and just in case you want to take time to be with your girlfriend.

....

Yes, she stated that as one of the reasons that you would like to take time off of work.

I'm pretty sure she's not gay, so she's probably talking about good reasons for ME to take time off of work.

In case there are clueless guys, and who knows maybe chicks, that was my cue for me to say, "oh I don't have a girlfriend" or "that's right! My girlfriend and I..." and thereby she would have established if I have a girlfriend or not.

I know ladies inside out.

Before you make me out to look like a conceited person, let me say that I have been "talked to" by girls enough times to know when they are trying something. (Also I have tried some things in the past that I thought were exclusive to boys, but turns out that girls try the same things too).

I was so dissapointed because I thought this was the start of a great semester friendship with someone who I would forget later on after the semester was over.

Kind of reminds me of those stupid STUPID movies where the title is something like Explosions and the WHOLE movie will have like, TWO explosions and a firecracker.

MAKES ME ANGRY!!!

(Don't go see Fast & Furious, as there are NO race scenes in it. (Except for ONE) and then the rest is a bunch of people walking and fighting with their fists).

Why can't people just get straight to the point!

Hey dude! I like you because I think you're kind of cute. I would like to get to know you better!

The worst thing that could happen is me saying no. I wouldn't get all weird with you!!!! It's not in my nature!!!

GAARRRR!!!!

....

I stayed quiet and didn't say either that I had or hadn't a girlfriend. She understood that I had seen through her and she looked down. We didn't say a word after that...

...

Tomorrow I am going to six flags and I will ride the Poltergeist. AH I CAN'T WAIT!!!

On Chasing Girls...

2009-05-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

This blog is in response to imsototallypink.blogspot.com's latest post.

(I know, i know, what's the question people have been asking you, yeah yeah yeah. I'll write about that later!!!)

It's so nice when someone reaches a level of understanding at a young (or younger than usual) age.

I don't think it is natural that a guy chases a girl because even girls are turned off by that. Guys that do that end up in the "friend" zone. The trick is to make a girl get used to you, then leave.

Just leave!

Then they miss being chased.

Pepe LePew clearly demonstrated this in an episode of his toons where the cat gets painted again, and then she starts to run away because Pepe was GOING to chase her. Yet he didn't. So she gets thsi weird look in her face and then starts to get him to chase her. But he won't. Then she goes CRAZY!!!

That's JUSt how it happens in real life!!!

Thanknessfully, guys that don't know that remain cloo less.

That's my cue to go in.

HAHAHAHA! I should be a marriage expert. (No you cannot call me when I get married).

I need a new tire..... I fear my current one is going to pop any second now...

Trouble Once More

2009-05-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

Since I can't survive without having conflict of some kind, I've decided that procrastination is the best way to ensure there's always some in my life.

Man I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.

Since four months ago, I was asked my English professor to keep a journal on my personal thoughts of each class period. In each I was to have 150 words of how much the class was of personal interest to me and how it will change my life, (or so I understood from his explanation). Since then there have been 30 or so classes. 48 hours of reminders on how to speak English well. These have overwhelmed my brain and rendered me dumbfounded on the extent of the English language protocols (my professor disagrees with me on that one however, as evidenced on his last comment for the last paper that I wrote three hours before class where he stated: Excellent perception and analysis. Your weakness is in punctuation, but you can master that if you apply some study and discipline".

|-(

He's right about it though. I didn't keep my journal.

MAN I wish I had discipline.

This reminds me of the times when I see some really buff shirtless guy that righteously beats up criminals and performs tricks and dives out of buildings as they explode and I'm thinking "MAN I'm going home and working out RIGHT NOW!!!"

Then I get home and make myself a sandwich.

I like mayo on my sandwich. Not too much though. There bacon can't get to soggy because then it tastes nasty. Usually I'll hide it behind the lettuce and moistify the other side of the sandwich.

Needless to say that I need someone to always be yelling at me and telling me what to do.

The sad part is that I hate people that tell me what to do. I can't stand them!!! UGH!!! Unless you're paying me. In which case where do you want my dignity.

The point is I have to turn in this journal on Tuesday. Today is Sunday. I tried writing some this morning and I only have three. They are probably like 70 words each. I can't remember too well if I'm even writing what we talked about on that day.

The worst part is that the research paper that I was supposed to work on all semester is due this Tueday too. I don't remember the guidelines on that but I'm thinking DAY OFF WORK!!!

YAY!!!!

I"m so screwed.

OH yeah! I'm also giving a talk on Sunday. Have to start working on that too....

Wait the real reason why I was writing today was because I wanted to talk about a question that I've been asked a lot this past month!!! By student assistants and not so eligible chicks as well!!!

I guess I will write on that later.

Procastination Realization

2009-04-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

Last week I took off three days of work in order to get two papers done. I would not have procrastinated so badly if I had known that both of these papers were due on the same day.

Nice....

Here's hoping for B's.

Today I watched another one of those 90's teen/young adult movies where, again, a question that's been bothering me for a long time has been posed. Actually!!!! a little boy asked me this same question yesterday! I didn't know what to tell him.... :(

What's real love? (Actually the real question was how do you know what real love is?)

I think there was a somewhat interesting answer that was given in this movie I saw today. (In case you're wondering it was boys and girls with Robert Downey Jr. or the other junior I always get them two confused). The reason why I find this one very close to satisfying me is because of a short story that I read a while back called "What we talk about when we talk about love" and I can't remember the author. Get over it.

In this story a drunk doctor talks about his previous marriage with his new wife and a couple who are also his friends. He says teh following:

When he was first married, he believed with his whole heart, that he loved his wife. He would have died for her, but something happened, and then he didn't like her anymore.

....yet.... if that was not real love... for ALL those years.... what was it??????

And when we are in love with someone, and then we fall in love with someone else... WHAT HAPPENED!!!

I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing.... I'm just saying, that if that was real love, then real love is only temporary? Or real love can be broken? If that's the case, then what's the point of searching so hard!!!

Anywho, yeah I'm confused. This is not cool.

I feel good about my papers.

Craigslist

2009-03-31T18:17:00.000-07:00

So I need a new phone, and I've been in the search for one for a while now.

If you have one that you don't want and is SUPER cool tell me. Otherwise I will be on craig's list looking for some. I've been into this memoir phone and there was some lady selling it for like $350. She never showed up at the place we agreed upon though.

Garrrrrr......

This sucks.

Maybe I used craig's list wrong. See, I called the person and they hung up on me as soon as I got them on the phone.

Then I left them like, A TRILLION MESSAGES!!!

Maybe it was harrassment or something. Oh well.

I don't know if I should try it again. It was exciting to go to the shady part of Houston with a huge wad of 20s and park in the crappiest McDonald's I've ever been too (even compared to Chicago) and get harrassed by two black homeless people, sit in the corner and wait while sipping on a sprite (which was mostly ice btw).

I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!

Except maybe this time I might look for a less fancy phone.

Mr Popular

2009-03-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

If anyone ever really wondered why I call myself monkey, I will tell you the story. (Although I think I blogged about this before).

Wow.... No one seems to be online but they all respond to a mass email I sent a second ago. Lol.

Anyways, the story goes that someone my height should not physically be able to jump as high as I used to be able to. (Back in my hey day I used to almost touch a basketball rim). (I wonder if it's hay day or hey day or maybe something else).

Anyways, the creative kids in my gym class came up with the name of monkey.

The reason I bring this up is because there's something else from that first year in Texas that has affected my this very week.

My gym coach used to be some polish lady. However the one coach that seemed to be in charge of all of them was another tall blonde lady that seemed real sure of herself. She wasn't like any of the other coaches. She seemed really intelligent. Really passionate about something, I just wasn't sure what it was.

Yet, I did not pay too much attention to this lady because she was not my coach. She was someone else's coach. I think I made an impression on her though...

...and I don't know HOW!!!!

The reason I know that I made an impression on her is because I met her the other day.

She's going to be one of the assistant principals in a new middle school that they are making down the street.

I was shocked to see her the other day when she walked into my place of business.

Ok no I wasn't because I didn't even recognize her, she recognized me. (No I'm not trying to sound snobby, IT'S THE TRUTH!!!)

Ok, I see the people coming into the office and I didn't look twice at them. I just asked them to sign in. Then one of them says, "Hey do I know you?"

I looked at her and she was giving me an intense look! Like if she was staring at the sun or something!

I was a little creeped out because I thought this was another cougar that was hitting on me. (Yes, they come in a lot into the office).

Then I noticed that I found her familiar too.

She was that one coach that was not my coach but that used to be in the gym when I was in gym!!!

Well, I didn't even get that far because she did all the remembering for me. She asked "did you use to go to Cy-Springs?"

"Yes?"

"Did you take a gym class?"

"Yes?" (Then again, didn't everyone?)

"You were in my gym class right?"

That answer was easy. No. I had a polish teacher.

"But I was there with you right?"

I still didn't place her. But I said "Oh yeah!"

Then we exchanged pleasantries. Halfway through the pleasantries though, I REALLY placed her and I was like, "OH YEAH!!!"

But I didn't say it out loud. That would've been just rude. Instead I am blogging it to the entire world on my blog. (In case she ever reads it, she gets my WHOLE point of view!).

What I wonder now is, how the heck does she remember me????

I mean, don't gym classes in high school have like, 80 kids at the same time? Aren't they all pains in the butt? Don't gym teachers hate them all and want them to get skinnier?

Well this coach was different I guess. I don't know how I should feel about her remembering a student that wasn't hers from 6 years ago.

Yes, six years ago.

I can't even remember my student assistants from last year.

AND THERE WERE TWO OF THEM IN EACH PERIOD!!!

Wait, maybe if I try hard enough....

...

....ok there was Melony..........

...

Javier............

.....

argh...

Ok Melony was a troublemaker and Javier was a trouble maker. So I don't think they count.

How can't I remember the good kids...

...come to think about it. I can't remember the kids I have now....

I probably shouldn't go into teaching.... :(

Um....

2009-03-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

I just realized I am turning 22 next year. . .

This is not cool. . .

Spring Break

2009-03-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday, and it is the last day of the Spring Break, which can only mean one thing...

I GOT 12 HOURS TO DO SOMETHING COOL!!!!

Something other than establishing further that I am a horrible driver, which is what I took some time doing this week. I didn't really plan on proving something that has been told to me time and time again by various passengers of different ages and backgrounds. It just sort of happened, like a fart. This one is really stinky.

Apart from almost falling asleep at 12 AM at the wheel on I-45, turning right when I'm not supposed to, almost getting hit on the feeder of 290, racing on hw6, and choosing to have 4 passengers in a five people car who aren't over 20, my coup de grace came from the dealership that I visited this week.

I'm almost at 15,000 miles and I wanted to do that checky-my-thingymabob-engine service that they said i should get. (I know I don't trust these people either but it was cheap-ish thing to do and it couldn't do more harm than good right?) So I call the place and set up my appointment for 3. I try my best to be on time for anything so I show up at 2:50 to the place. (The lady on the phone had told me it was a procedure that would take about 45 minutes).

Now there was an asian person that came out to greet me. He was very polite and very well mannered. Yet, I know for a FACT that he didn't do ANY work on my car. (It was probably some one else. Plus the fact that he didn't look greasy before or after my car's fixa-da-engine thing).

Anywho, he told me he would take care of my car and asked for my keys, which I relinquished. Then he told me to sit in a really boring room with some lady that was talking on her cell phone. I sat on his really uncomfortable couches and started falling asleep.

THEN HE POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND YELLED!!! "HEY SIR COME WITH ME!!!!!" Or so it seemed but it could probably have been the sleepiness that made him seem so sudden and loud. Oh yeah, that lady one the cell phone was gone too..... o.O?

He takes me out to the garage where my little carrito was. He asks me "Sir would you take a look at your tires?"

I was still thinking about the floating sheep I had seen inside the waiting area.... but I dutifully started staring with my head leaning sideways. Meanwhile asian guy started to talking to some other customer. I was still there though, just looking. Juuuuuuust looking.

"SIR!!!"

This guy likes to scare me.....

"Huh! Uh, huh....." OH GAWD!!! MANLIER voice!!! This guy's a mechanic! He's going to think you're a douche!!!

"Ahem... YEAH!"

"Sir do you see that?"

Um, yeah I see the tire. I don't think that's the answer he's looking for though. Hmmm... Maybe if I squint a little. Hmmm... Oh yeah! He's probably mad because the I scratched the rim! I was driving too close to the sidewal this one day and I went, SCRRRRRRRRATCH! Ugh! I would be mad too if I knew someone had scratched their rims.....

"Yeah, the rim, um, that was an accident, see I was driving...."

"No sir, your tire".

Damn! I thought that was too easy. UGH! I knew I should've said tire!!!

"It's all worn out. You have an alignment problem. That's going to be a problem".

I also have a problem looking manly or car knowledgable in front of people that are. Talk about manliness deficiency.

So he's looking at the really worn down tires in front... Um, actually that's not an alignment problem. I know that I've worn down my two front tires from various peelouts and racing and quick turns and sudden braking.

Great. I am a horrible driver.........

Thanks Mazda for making me want to go back to work this week.......

25 Things About Me

2009-02-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

Hopefully I can find 25 things to write about myself or else I will be depressed. They will not be in any particular order and they will most likely be the first things that come to mind. Then when I press send I will be like, "OH! I should have put this in!!!!" Nevertheless, here they are:

1. When faced with a task, I always ask myself, "How can I get out of this, or make this go any faster or easier?" It's horrible because I do it even to tasks that I set myself. Like, making myself a sandwich.
2. I am aware that I am spoiled and have worked hard to unspoil myself. People make things harder for me though because for some reason, I am always being complimented, which makes me tell myself that I am stupid and makes me want to find flaws in everything that I do, which I can do pretty successfully. This in turn affects my self esteem. However it bounces right back after a compliment.
3. I am so lost in life. I have a general idea of where I'm headed, but I'm not sure if I want to go there. I wouldn't mind BEING where I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in, but I want to know how to get out of it if it happens and/or how could I speed up the process.... Oy....
4. I like chocolate ice cream
5. I HATE neopolitan ice cream. I've never liked the pink side. It tastes horribly especially after having tasted the chocolate side. (plus vanilla's just blah).
6. I'm starting to have an interest in having different types of shoes for different types of outfits. This disturbs me to a great extent.
7. I never EVER work hard at anything. However, people always think that I do. I never explain myself though. This is a phenomenon that has happened since high school. (Most of the time, my work will even look like if it had been worked hard on).
8. I love computers.
9. I like the sound of little children laughing, which is why i like what I'm doing at the moment. 10. I like twisting kids minds. They like it too because even the most disrespectful kids will at least heed my commands after one of these sessions. I would normally be inclined to say that maybe it's because I don't see the same kids everyday, but i see EVERYONE'S kids EVERY day it seems.
11. I trust that people are telling me the truth. It has gotten me into trouble before. Strangely enough, I don't trust people that are friendly to me.
12. I was in love once but now it's lost. I have never seen girls the same again and distrust each and every single one of them.
13. I hate clingy couples. DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE NICE SITUATIONS AWKWARD?!?!?!?!????
14. My tone of voice makes me sound disinterested. I rarely am disinterested in ANYTHING though.
15. I don't know what was my maternal language. I have an accent in both Spanish and English. (French too. I'm counting it only because I can hold a conversation and I understand it since it is similar to spanish). For those of you who just blurt out that it's my mom's language, I say you have a good point. Except I can't speak my mom's language fluently and oftentimes find myself searching for words or getting corrected by old people.
16. I wish I could get along with older people (10 years older than me), but I can't. I don't know how.
17. I work with older people.
18. I like to combine blue and black a lot. They are my favorite colors. I wish there was blue ice cream. I am satisfied with blue ice pops though.
19. I have never received a letter through snail mail. (Except for bills of course).
20. The last time someone I liked hugged me was 3 years ago. I've been hugged in the mean time, but it is just not the same. :(
21. I think this is similar to 11 but I will say it because I'm almost done!!! I always ALWAYS find a positive in ANY situation or ANYONE. People that are normal hate me for this. I do this only because I like to share point of views and understand what the other side thinks. It is my way of playing chess with the world.
22. I am pretty good at chess.
23. I was beat up in school because I was a nerd.
24. I like to think that I grew up to be a pretty cool guy! I can always also find a joke in every situation or make people laugh in one way or another.
25. I like my eye color because you can only see it in the sunlight. Otherwise it's just black. I take it as a symbol.

Technically I'm supposed to designate people to tag, and I have, and these people now HAVE to write 25 things about themselves, but it would be nice if you wrote your 25 things too. I want to know! TELL ME!!! :D

Mixed Feelings

2009-01-19T18:56:00.000-08:00

Working in a job where one deals with many different types of people, one is demanded to have a high tolerance for diversity, not just of problems and situations, but for races.

Yes, that's me, Mr. Awesome. One who does not hate you for your race but for your stupidity. (In fact, I hate every visitor equally).

That being said, one should understand the mixed feelings I have for people who make sense, but are total snobs.

I will give a good example.

Recently I've had a conversation with a work-mate who has the classic southerner hospitality of the past. (That being that only Americans are allowed to be Americans, whatever that means). I'm in a really hard position because I somewhat agree, but still am somewhat angry at this person.

Grrrrr.....

On many occassions there will be parents who do not speak English and come in asking me if I speak spanish, which of course I do, which allows for a smooth transition of things. Yet some people seem to believe that since we live in this English-speaking country, we should not have these services and we should force people to be clueless about their children's education.

This sounds so snobby! How could I possibly have mixed feelings about this?

I am an immigrant and my parents are immigrants. I speak English, yet my parents do not. So I understand how it is to be on both sides of this argument. For those that do not understand my feelings, I will make a small comparison.

I would undoubtedly be upset if someone entered my house without my permission, sat on my couch, and demanded that I give him some sort of refreshment. So I understand this work-mate's point of view. However, why does this person act like such a snob when saying this? It totally takes the validity out of her point, and this is why.

My mother, who can speak English well but will take advantage of spanish services if they exist, didn't RESIST learning English. She was not some rebel who decided to come into this country with the agenda of making it Mexico Part II, nor did she ask for someone to provide spanish services.

They were there when she got here. At that time she also didn't work. She was a home-maker who enjoyed Spanish TV more than English TV. She didn't see the need to watch it (even though she did at times to see if she could understand it, which she never did). When she went to the store people there spoke spanish. When she went to the doctor, the doctor spoke spanish. Additionally her neighbors speak spanish.

In fact, it's a freaking miracle that she can hold an English conversation with ANYONE!!! (Ok not really because eventually she got a job, but you get my point).

So as much as I understand the southerner/republican/elitist point of view (and somewhat agree with a few points), don't be angry at my mom, or people that don't know how to speak English. They are coaxed by the very Americans that are your neighbors. Be mad at them. (In fact, when you see someone from a country that is not spanish speaking, you will often notice that they are forced to speak English because they do not have other outlets).

Don't be a snob at a race for their coaxed way of life!!! Be mad at individuals for their stupidity.

Someone Wants to beat up the Pepmeister

2008-11-24T16:17:00.000-08:00

So for the gajillionth time, I hear that someone wants to beat me to a pulp.

I say, get in line people.

Normally I'm an easy guy to get along. There will be times though, when I will try to make your life impossible if I think that there is something wrong with you. I don't think that that means that there's something wrong with me, but it probably does mean that we are not meant to be friends.

So it turns out that there is some guy out there that says he would like to beat me up because I "insinuated" that he is gangster.

Here's the thing though, I don't HAVE a problem with gangster looking people. In fact their very presence makes me feel like home. I like to be reminded of Chicago every once in a while. Especially since Texas doesn't offer much of an urban lifestyle. At least not around these parts. Yet, I did live in a place where there were real life gangsters that would lead a real thug life. Oddly enough these people weren't intimidating people. They were actually very nice. Someone that was there to protect the hood, which, in case you lived in it, you would have their protection. Why? I have no clue. It worked out for me though. Things were safe. The bad parts happened when these people ventured out into other people's territories, all the while you were representing their territory by means such as the display of certain clothing styles and colors.

Then people would die.

Needless to say, you were either gangster or you weren't. You could also say that you were either willing to risk your life or you weren't. (In other words, you wouldn't dress as a gangster unless you really meant it).

Another trend of these gangsters was their social-economic status. The reason they were gangsters was because they were usually alone and their REAL family provided little or no support to them. I'm not talking about parents that got mad easily at their kids. I'm talking about parents who refused to get a job or were on welfare or used drugs in front of their kids or sent their kids to school with bruises.

This type of upbringing would lead them to look for love elsewhere. Oddly enough gangsters ARE a type of family. Unless you were to be on the wrong side of the hood, gangsters were pretty cool people to hang out with. They just needed to be shown a little love.

That being said, I see no reason for people to dress and act gangster here in the middle of a suburban city in Texas. There is no hood to protect here. There are no territory boundaries other than maybe a subdivision. Plus the fact that a person would LIVE here, would mean that their parents actually care about them enough to have them OUT of the hood.

There is no reason for someone to act gangster here.

Having said that, anyone wanting to lead such a lifestyle, in my eyes, is a poser, for the reason that I know what real thug life looks like. I know what it is to target and to get offered drugs and to know what corners to avoid and to know what house is THE house.

So when you come up to me with your gangsterness and your thug talk and you are WHITE and you think you're real and you believe that you had it tough because you used to live in a two story and you're now living in one and these are the tough times rappers rap about.... I take that offensively. So if that's you, SHUT UP. You're not gangster. TRUST ME. Gangsters actually TRY to be nice people. They are not stuck up.

So if anyone knows who's trying to beat up the pepmeister, tell that person to BRING IT ON!

:P

On Being Alone

2008-10-05T20:02:00.001-07:00

Perhaps it is the fact that I am twenty, or that I am a guy, or that I know that I don't need to have this feeling, but I have it anyways....

I'm not sure what it is, but something is really bugging me...

I'm sure one's heard the story where guy A wants to be a cop and then he finds out something about cops and then he doesn't have that urge to be a cop anymore, and instead, he becomes a vigilante (which is every superhero movie almost). That's kind of what has happened to me. I've come to the conclusion that vigilante work is probably what I will be doing for the rest of my life, metaphorically speaking.

It's bugging me that I've chosen to do something that I believe should be everyone's duty without any special recognition, because when you're doing something that you're supposed to do, it may not need any special recognition.

I don't know, this is weird.

THE POINT IS...

...this makes me feel lonely...

I don't know why though. Perhaps it is the fact that I don't trust anyone. I may tell them that I trust them, or I may tell them that they are my friend, but in reality I don't and I'm not. Whenever someone asks me something, I've recently gotten the feeling that they're looking for something.

Then again I don't get this feeling with everyone.

Just some people and only because I know of their past.

However therein lies the problem. I try to be friendly with people, and I try my hardest to be funny and maybe somehow impress someone that I'm impressed by...

...but I'm so suspicious of everyone's motives.

I have high expectations of anyone that wants to be considered my friend, that I don't even try to share those. If it happens it happens and if it doesn't it doesn't.

The worst part is that you would think that being alone would push me to FIND someone that I have a lot in common with and try to befriend them, but I don't because I don't mind being lonely, except when I actually start feeling it, which usually happens about 5 minutes into the loneliness.

In fact, the best description of what I feel would be that same feeling you get when you're a teen and you're watching a good movie at the movie theater all by yourself. That's the exact same feeling I have.

Anywho, if I can get into the habit of vigilante work, perhaps my feelings of loneliness might dissipate.

Rumors of my hate for Apple Have been Greatly Exaggerated

2008-09-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

There's something that I have to clear up to you people that think that I am a HUGE apple hater. Well, it's true. However it's not as bad, neither does it make me a huge microsoft fanboy. Ew.

THE GOOD
I'm going to start off with good things that I like about apple, only because i know that if I don't I will be discredited.

I like the fact that without apple, I wouldn't have all the cool movies that are out there right now. I LOVED Batman! (Although I don't know how much Apple they used since they wanted to do an IMAX version), along with a lot of other awesome movies that couldn't be possible without Apple.

Of course those affect me in a little scale. What does somewhat affect me a lot more is Quicktime. I LOVE quicktime. It is a crisp clear, albeit propietary (by which I mean it won't play much of anything else) video player. Sometimes whenever I'm bored I'll head over to www.apple.com/trailers and enjoy me some HD trailers. (Those things are HUGE BTW! I'm running 1920x1200 and those things are BIGGER THAN THAT!)

Another thing that I like about them is the iTouch. I would probably get an iTouch over a 120GB Zune. Even the blue one. The accelerometer is pretty nifty. They're just too expensive. I like the iPhone too, except this new one seems to have been complained on a lot by all tech reviewers.

Other than that, I don't find much use of their software useful. A few years back I tried to get into iTunes, but then it started converting all my files into AAC, which is when I grew contempt of them.

Perfect jump to the bad.

The Bad
The bad things about Apple have to do mostly with their practices and the OS. The OS and the hardware is probably what I have my biggest gripe with.

These things are APART from not being able to play video games and such other frivolities.

HARDWARE: Apple's PCs, unlike EVERYONE else!!! cannot be opened. EVER!!! You open them and you broke them (most likely).

Now you probably would think "Why would I want to open my computer? There's no need!" Well that's all fine and dandy except if you haven't noticed, technology leaps ahead every three months. Every three months you see new technology, which forces prices on harware to go down. In fact, the most perfect example of this is RAM.

When I got my first computer, it came with 64MB of RAM. That became antiquated EXTREMELY soon. Everyone was all of the sudden requiring 128MB of RAM for their applications.

NO PROBLEM! All I did was install 128MB of RAM for a total of 192MB of RAM. Total price? Free. (RAM is cheap and sometimes free to find, and it doesn't matter where you get it from or from what company. Kevin Rose (self-declared apple fanboy) has also said that the one thing he does NOT recommend from Apple is their overpriced RAM).

What would've happened if I had gotten a mac? I would've had to go out and spend another 1500 dollars for ANOTHER mac instead of just opening up the PC and putting in something new.

Macs are also stupidly expensive.

In a recent study mentioned on Digg's podcast 'DiggNation', Alex Albrecht points out the study's findings on the gap between Apple's hardware price and it's value getting bigger and bigger. This basically means that you can get an equally good PC and pay less than paying for a Mac.

Also most hardware components that are NOT things such as mouses, printers, and the like, that come out, are EVER compatible with Mac/Apple. (Such as video cards, sound cards, RAM, etc.) So if you were to turn off your your Mac and then quickly turn it back on and accidentally fry your sound card in the process, you're screwed.

It may not seem important NOW, but it does happen to be useful whenever society UPS the ante on hardware requirements.

SOFTWARE: This I'm going to be a little lenient on compatibility with third party hardware because a lot of people have been making things that work with Apple, (like the aforementioned printers, mouses, mp3 players etc.), which would throw my 'nothing works with apple' argument away.

However, whenever you have things that DON'T work with apple, THEN Apple tries to make it work by converting it to Apple friendly items. Otherwise it will just give you a 'Your screwed" message".

Also Apple software on PC's act like if their bloated with something... If you've used iTunes and/or Quicktime on the PC you will know what I am talking about.

Other than that I HAVE to say that Apple software is really pretty.

IN CONCLUSION
It's nice to see Apple realize that there are other people out there that do better work than them. (This is demonstrated in them FINALLY accepting to use Intel chips on their computers, which I hear has made an AWESOME improvement).

Hopefully they open up more to be a competitor to the PC. (At least in my head).

Also please note that I am NOT a Microsoft fanboy. Both Steve Jobs and Bill Gates are the biggest douchebags in history. I hate them both for them MERE fact that they made billion dollar corporations off of the backs of innocents who trusted them with confidential info that they in turn stole to make themselves money.

If I didn't think they're stuff was so cool, I would not buy it.

...

...I don't think that came out right. LOL

Twitter

2008-09-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

On an unrelated note: I reached 1300 on twitter. YAY!

Hurricane Ike

2008-09-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

Today is a sad sad day. I think the news from a memorial of September 11 being blocked with my tragic news is bad enough, but there was a hurricane here in Houston and there were twenty something deaths.

I took some cell phone pics as I was driving through some neighborhoods here. I also got text messages DURING the hurricane. It was an interesting experience.

I think the most fascinating thing about this was things that happened prior to the hurricane. All throughout Houston there were people talking about all the weird lightning that was going on. Me and my brothers say blue and green lightning, and it wasn't slightly blue and slightly green lightning, it was BRILLIANT blue and green lightning. Perhaps the scariest thing I saw during the hurricane. The first time I saw it it filled me with TREMORS. Then there was the whole hurricane part with the wind. Perhaps the feeling that somehow the house is going to implode upon you was also scary.

Some of the pictures I took happened RIGHT after the hurricane. Perhaps like an hour after the whole thing happened. The wind was still going strong and there was some strong rain but we had the guts to go outside and check on the damages.

Now I'm going to post some txt messages prior to the hurricane and after it. Hope u guys are well.

9/11/08 7:21:19 PM
R u going 2 evacuate?

9/11/08 8:36:27 PM
How are you doing? Everything ok?

9/11/08 9:36:27 PM
Good. Well we're staying until further notice. Are ya'll prepared and ready to evacuate?

9/12/08 1:43:28 PM
Take care and keep in touch aight ily people bye

9/12/08 3:27:55 PM
I'm not sacred! I'm scared!

9/12/08 3:31;33 PM
wa kant cuz ma dad haz to be here in case da brothers have an emergency. We are puttin tape on our windows rite now.

9/12/08 3:38:52 PM
We are leaving cuz da superintendente said dat it waz too strong n he said dat all of uz gotz to go to a safe place

9/12/08 3:42:01 PM
Okay well he juz spoke to ma dad dat we kan stay stay n so we are

9/12/08 3:46:26 PM
Stayin we are gonna face da force of nature. alot of brothers are leavin n we are some of da only brave ones dat will stay

9/12/08 7:18:17 PM
Se fueron d Houston tu y fam ?

9/12/08 9:55:07 PM
O K nosotros tambien saludos a tus papas

9/12/08 11:40:14 PM
So watz going on ova dere?? Rain? Wind? Power out? Text it! Be safe n take care!!! Ilse :)

9/13/08 12:31:01 AM
Hey you guys still awake?

9/13/08 12:32:59 AM
Haha!!! Are you serious?!? In response to: "I am. This is scarier than i thot."

9/13/08 3:33:41 AM
Im very freaked out!!! Omg! Im scared ma windows r gona burst...n y does ma room light up?! OMG!!!

9/13/08 7:55:28 AM
Morning! How are you guys doing?

9/13/08 10:07:20 AM
Hey how are you guys?

9/13/08 10:13:39 AM
Hey the houston mayor bill white is saying to plz stay in side ur homes is not save to get out n to plz dont drink water from ur house tha water is contaminated

9/13/08 10:22:19 AM
A little water in my room! Half my beaches gone! Other than that were good! No power!

9/13/08 10:22:56 AM
Yeah we have two sections me fence down and shingles scattered on the groud but we're all good. But...no power!!! Ahhhh! It's hot. :(but we'll survive. :)

9/13/08 10:30:49 AM
We're ok...just a bit scared... Our kitchen door almost got blwon away, se nos metio un poco de agua but its not flooded. part of our fence fell n we r out of power...ma dad is wit some brothers helping a sister wit her house cuz a tree fell on it...we might go to some brothers house cuz dey got electricity...other dan dat everything is good tkz 2 Jehovah!

9/13/08 10:57:44 AM
We're ok nothing bad just some branches broke

9/13/08 11:42: 57 AM
Good i think a tree fell from my back yard but towards fence

9/13/08 11:52:36 AM
WOW!!! belt way 8 is flooded!!! the storm went towards lufkin leaving rain behind explaining the flood

9/13/08 11:58:40 AM
Galveston lookd really bad!! It's destroyed some places "completely" does anyone have power yet?

9/13/08 1:17:26 PM
So far here its calm. We have power. We have securities out here checking the damages.

9/13/08 2:57:36 PM
Are the lights back with you guys??

9/13/08 2:58:59 PM
We got lights..

9/13/08 4:11:58 PM
how are you guys?

9/13/08 5:03:53 PM
We just got our light back!!! Well at least we lost some weight mean while! :D

Special Interruption: Chicks

2008-09-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

So a couple of days back I was presented with a question by a very naive young man. I don't think he expected me to be so direct and specific with an answer. However he didn't agree with my answer. He then goes and asks some girls about it and of course the girls don't agree with me, they agree with him.

[Sighs] Girls.....

Ok, here's the question.

Is the girl able to pursue a guy?

This young man's answer (along with the girls) is a definite no. A girl should not pursue a guy in any way shape or form. This is, according to them, undignified and improper. The girl should just sit back and wait for the guy to approach her. That and accept anything the guy proposes, thereby showing interest, NOT by the way she acts, but just by the way she accepts his invitations and proposals.

There are SO many things wrong with that answer.

Now my answer is a little long. So I will try and divide into sections.

First of all, simply put, the answer is yes, the girl CAN pursue a guy.

Of course, the girl shouldn't act like a friggin' stalker, but there's nothing wrong with the girl approaching a guy! There's nothing undignified about it and if you ask me, those ideas went out the door whenever ladies became equal with men!

Here are my reasons for this answer.

1. When guys meet girls, they have INSTANTLY decided if that girl is dateable or not. (Slash, is she cool/pretty/interesting enough to like). Unfortunately, most base their decision on if that girl is pretty enough [at least in his eyes]. However, there are very VERY rare times when a girl will land on a guy's "whatever" spot.

The whatever spot on a guy is the spot a girl lands in when the guy doesn't mind the idea of him dating said girl, yet he doesn't mind it if the girl thinks he's the ugliest guy in the world either. He just sees a girl and nothing else. It's a "whatever" situation.

In these cases, the guy will resort to the easiest way there is to finding out if the girl likes him or not. Usually the way chosen by guys is to do absolutely nothing, followed by eating chips on the couch watching tv.

If a girl were to find herself in this situation, and she LIKES the guy, sitting on her behind waiting/hoping/praying that the guy notices her, she will find herself dissapointed. There are more chances that I take a free trip around the world accompanied by hot chicks than if the guy notices this girl.

Guys are just lazy girls. If you land in the whatever spot, and you like this guy, he might invite you places and he might be friendly with you, but he doesn't really like you until you start giving him that idea that maybe there's something in between you two. He's not going to try anything because frankly, he doesn't really care if he does or if he doesn't. He's not going to notice that you like him because there is no incentive for him to notice it. (i.e. You accepting his invitation to the restaurant with the rest of his friends, will not come off as 'I like you').

2. You hinting that you like this guy makes you seem like a gutsy girl. Guys like gutsy girls. There's also the fact that a girl that is treating you like the hottest guy ever, without doing the same to other guys, comes off as a girl that knows what she wants, which makes guys think that perhaps they might be a good match.

Now I personally can distinguish with relative ease when a girl seems to be giving me hints. (Although I did miss a few BIG ones, though in MY defense, whenever a SUPER hot chick seems to be into you, you tend to think that there is only hope for friendship, so you act accordingly). I say this because some people say that always noticing when a girl likes you invalidates my number one.

The thing is, guys don't always notice when a girl likes him. So number one will always be true.

Next time, I will talk about probable contradictions or incorrectness on my analysis. That is if any is pointed out.

Wedding

2008-09-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

All right, I'm going to try to do this in 15 minutes, which would be awesome for me, because I always take a gajillion years to do this.

First of all, to all you trolls, I can't imagine that I did something to unplease you and make you unhappy. You can't imagine how hurt and upset I am that a troll says something mean. I will work better to make better blogs. I live to please the trolls. (sarcasm)

Here's the meaty part now.

So about a week ago I was part of a wedding. I was a groomsmen. However, I have mixed feelings on it.

1. I like the groom, and I like the bride, and individually they are both friends to me and I support the fact that they are in love with each other and want to live the rest of their lives together. They've obviously noticed that I love and support them because I'm a groomsmen in their wedding. That being said, I hear that there was some backroom talk when it comes to this wedding.

I don't like that, but notmally I would try to avoid being a part of something when it MAY be controversial. Yet I couldn't do that to my friends. It's like if I was a diabetic being asked to give up candy. I would kill myself first. (almost...)

WAIT! There's more!

2. I LOVED the people that I was groomsmen with. Yet there is something that kind of bugged me about the whole lot of them, and that is that I was on of the oldest people there.

Ok, so there were 4 more people that were older than me. That still leaves 7 younger than me, and I'm 20. I never thought that in a wedding there would be these many young people! Then again, 15 year olds can be very talented. However their memory is not so well, no matter how talented they are.

So the dance didn't come out as well as we had hoped. However that dance is what I would like to speak of now.

3. So the plan was to have the parents dance with the bride and groom and then have us do our choreographed waltz, through which we would have introduced the couple, who would then dance together that first dance as husband and wife. The DJ though was either unaware of this or was really clumsy and stuff. Something that made him skip the whole choreographed part. Then when he was forced to do it the CD he used was too scratched. It started off well but then it got into one of those things where it started skipping and repeating the same 2 secs over and over again.

Then they decided to skip the waltz and just do the dance.

Then they interrupted the dance and told everyone to get off the dance floor and told us to try it again. Except the CD they used was sped up really fast. So everyone, at least from my perspective, which was at the end of the row, wasn't choreographed right and synchronized about as much as puppies that have been fed sugar bones and thrown into an enclosed, vibrating trampoline during an earthquake.

But yeah it wasn't good.

I still haven't seen the tape but it's not even on my to do list.

However overall it was a good experience. I don't think I'm ever going to forget it.

Tune in next time for part three on this series: dreaded school. Which for me is both work and actual school.

Completely Confused

2008-08-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

I know why I haven't had anything to write about! I hadn't been doing anything!

Well now there is a ton of things that I will write about. Well, maybe it's more like two or three.

1. Chicks... (because it's my fav subject).
2. Wedding (so I don't forget)
3. School

Ok, the first thing is sort of involved with the SECOND thing, but I don't care. I'm going to write about it ANYWAYS!!!

So I was part of a wedding this weekend and I met a girl there.

Ok, well I didn't really meet her because I had already met her on a trip to San Antonio, but she was at the wedding. However, now I'm confused because she's either doing a typical girl thing because she's mad at me, or she can't stop thinking about me. (I would like to think the latter). Before I get into the whole situation on what happened, I have to explain myself before I tell the story, otherwise I will look like a big booty.

See...

I've always been bad at convincing girls that they like me. It used to be that it always had to happen on its own. If it didn't then it was too bad. When it DID happen on its own, I was never good at keeping it up, not because I was a typical guy... but because I was the complete opposite of that. I was the PERFECT guy.

Turns out girls don't like that... who would've thunk.

I understand now HOW to get a girl to like me, and I know the PROCESS, but I don't understand the whole WHY. It's not a big concern with me though. I just do what I know will work, go with my gut, and usually it goes well. Why it works is sort of in the BACK of my mind.

Kind of like homeopathy.

Anways, the BIG lesson that I've learned about girls is this: Girls don't like nice guys, but they don't like jerks either. So you have to mix it up a little. (There are a few more details to that but that's the main picture. Those finer details are mine and MINE ALONE!!!)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've learned that if I'm always telling a girl that she's so pretty and she's so cool and she's the best thing that's come since sliced bread, then I will strike out.

KNOWING THAT....

I met this girl at this wedding. I think she's cool. She looks like she's 17 but she's really 27 (or something like that). She's shorter than me, which is always a plus with me. It's not that I don't like girls taller than me. Sometimes I feel that attraction. It's just nice to look down to the girl. It would be nice if we could know each other a little more, even though she lives in San Antonio. She's WAY older than me. But sometimes that can be overcome with a little skill... :D

JK

But seriously...

We were dancing and I initiated the jabbing at each other. Thinking about it, it's the roughest form of flirtation. (Which was done WITH a purpose if you're thinking that it's BAD to flirt, WHICH IT IS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE IN MIND!!!)

Well, it wasn't really flirtation coming to think about it. Just kind of us testing each other and trying to see how cool the other person was. But I must have said something that messed her up. Well, the exact quote went somewhat like this.

Her: Yeah I know that I look young but I'm really not.
Me: That's weird, because I noticed those wrinkles around your eyes

Well it was SOMETHING to that effect.

She didn't LAUGH but she didn't act offended EITHER. She proceeded to roll with it and threw some jabs MY way.

We laughed some, kept on dancing some more, then got tired of dancing all that crappy cumbia that the guy kept on playing. She had asked me to ask him for some merengue, which I did, but the STOOPID DJ didn't do it. I would've totally blown her away had I done it.

Oh well.

We took a break and I went to her table where she instantly told her friend that I had said that she had wrinkly eyes, which her friend (who was also 23, but looked like a 15 year old, and was pretty and shorter than me) laughed at uncontrollably. They then started talking about me in front of me....

We talked a little more, and the night ended with her giving me her email address.

I left and Dani says that as she was leaving she said bye to him thinking it was me because she said "Bye Jose!"

Dani was too lazy to correct her though and said bye as me.

One may think, "That went well..."

Key words, MAY THINK.

Yesterday, the couple with which they had stayed with came over and were asking for me. Thankfully I had gone to sleep. Yet, they had a bone to pick with me so they told my parents anyways. The mom was somewhat unhappy that I had told the lady about her wrinkly eyes. The dad thought it was hilarious. Turns out that she had told EVERYONE about my wrinkly eye comment.

I'm thinking that she didn't say it in a good way because the mom was upset....

Or maybe she did but she can't communicate well with grown ups?

....hmmm.....

I'm confused.....

But there's one part of my blog series after. Stay tuned for the following sections on mah blog!

Reruns

2008-07-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

Do you know when reruns are good? Whenever it's a rerun you've never seen before.

I hate hate HATETATEATEATAEETATAEATEATEAETAETAETE reading old emails of mine. It brings thoughts of dread to my head. However I've recently realized something.

Some of my old email actually have things in them that are actually hilarioussly funny from back in the day. So I'm thinking I would like to share some of my past with you.

The following is an excerpt from an email I wrote a long time ago about a day in college. Hope you enjoy it!

=================================

I'm so distracted! I used to be so happy and nimble before...

I'd say I'm down because of sugar deficiency but that can't be it. Today I accidentally bought $10 of food. It wasn't on purpose. They mislabeled the thingies. I HAD to buy them after I was in line.

...

But at least I got a 10% discount with my cy-fair student card!

...

But ten% of 9.44 is just 84 cents. So that kinda blew. I mean, sure it was something, but sometimes you want something more. Like yesterday. I think people thought that I was stealing from the vending machine. I didn't realize it at the time or I would have explained my self. But now that I think about it...

UGH! I'm such an idiot! What if those people see me preaching or something! They're gonna think "Look! There goes that kid that was stealing from the vending machine!!!"

I know, I know, you wanna know what happened. (And if you don't, well, you can just stop reading the e-mail. [...] ).

See, the thing is, I was really REALLY hungry because I hadn't eaten in a long LONG time and I only had three bucks. But you really can't get anything good for three bucks at the cafeteria. ([...]) So I though I'd search the vending machines scattered around campus. Well, on searching and searching, I found a vending machine with buns in them. (Dya know that in Japan they have vending machines with underwear on them! I think I read that in megatokyo but i can't remember. But if I did, then you already know, and I'm just saying things that you think are obvious and it makes you think I'm dumb.) And if it wasn't just buns, but SUGAR BUNS!!! Honey glazed, cinnamon filled sugar buns!!!

I thought that would fill me up for a while. And I was soooooooo hungry!

So I put my little dollar in and it takes it on the first try. (YAY!!!) And then I pushed the correct combination for the sugar buns. (DOUBLE YAY!!!!) And the sugar bun started to come out....!!!

...

...but it got stuck. (Murphy's law has a grudge against me. I think last time I went to his house, I broke a frame on his wall when I accidentally leaned on it. And if that was bad enough, I think it was a picture of his mom. The guy's a momma's boy by the ways. Egh!)

So there I was, just staring at the sugar glazed bun. I could almost taste it and I could already feel the texture of it's semi-glossiness. AAAAAAAAAAARGHH!!!! I couldn't just stare at it! And I wasn't about to put another dollar in that stupid machine!

...

So i started to swing it.

At this point people started to look at me the way people always look at me. Weird and sad. In fact, some asian dude that was just sitting there was like "Whoa dude! Do you need some money or something?" And started to pull some out of his pocket. I was too busy cussing out the machine in my head so I didn't realize that people thought I was trying to get some free swag. So, of all the things I could've said like, no, I already paid for it, or, I'm just trying to get my bun out, (No dirty thoughts you perv.!), instead I said, "No, I mean, it's just hanging there!"

*cries

Why does it always happen to me!!!

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

....

[sniff]

...

[sniff][sniff]

It doesn't end there though. It gets worse. Of course! You'd think Murphy's was satisfied at my ironic developments. So he decided I needed a little more irony in my life.

Well, as i was swaying the machine back and forth in an angry attempt to get my bun released from the claws of unjust robots, an M&M's pack falls out. (Remember that I still don't know what people are thinking of me.) I say, "Cool! FREE M&M's!!! (What else could I have said...) But after that my bun fell out.

The asian guy said: "Cool you got two things."

I didn't realize this whole ordeal had happened until like, one minute after I had left.

ONE MINUTE!!!

I felt so bad, I wished the earth could swallow me whole. I wish I was dead.

Yep.

And then I go to the meeting with this on my mind, and I feel like I don't have the right to be up there preaching and stuff, and it distracts me from the whole thing.

I WAS STUTTERING the whole time!

It was like porky pig on coke! A biddy a biddy a biddy a bedes all folks! (Fanfare Music)

2008-07-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about something... but I can't remember what it was.

Anywho, check out this screenshot I took of the Zune software! I reached one of those cool numbers where it's like 11111 or 12321 or 10101.

Yeah

As you probably already know I love zune especially this gem here, the Zune card. It tells you what I've been listening to (so you can tell if I'm being a bad boy or if I'm being romantic or if I'me being a good boy and listening to jazz!).

You can check out my Zune card at http://social.zune.net/member/Monkeytheboy .

BTW, Zune's don't get bricked with new softare updates. Shhhhh........

So yesterday I went to see Batman. I've been highly anticipating it because of all the hype. And GUESS WHAT!!! It actually lives up to all the hype that has been out there. I did make one mistake though...

...taking my little brothers to the movies with me. The movie's rated PG-13 so it might've been a little too much intellectuality for them. All they know is that the joker was a badd man and he was killing people. Poor little children. I probably should've thought about this earlier. Oh well. It's these kinds of mistakes methinks, that give me wisdom. :(

Deejaying Towards Happiness

2008-07-19T21:34:00.000-07:00

Bwahahahahahaha! I've successfully deejayed another party. This time it was a smaller party that did not have as many people in it. However, I didn't take my DJ responsibility less seriously. It WAS somewhat tougher though.

Apparently all of these "experienced" DJs were giving me tips and were giving me music to play, but this only aggravated me. I KNOW how to DJ on my own guys!!! I don't need your help! However I played it cool.

I've also learned that there is a difference between hardware DJing and software DJing.

I was assigned to work with a hardware DJ and he found it really weird that I could do my mixing with software only. I found it weird that he could do his DJing with hardware only. We both learned from each other though.

...there was this one guy though that kind of got on my nerves.

He wasn't part of the party planning in any way shape or form. However he wanted me to play his mixes so I wouldn't mess up. I told him I was fine and he was like, "c'mon man!" and I was like, nope. So he got mad at me and he says: "Fine! If anything bad happens, or when you mess up, It's not going to be my fault!" I replied with, "It wasn't going to be your fault in the FIRST place because you're not the DJ!!!" I still put my hand on his shoulder because I didn't want him to be SUPER mad at me. I think he sort of understood but whatever.

However that's not the most SUPER COOLEST THING THAT HAPPENED TONIGHT!!!

If you know me you will agree that I'm SUPER picky when it comes to the ladies...

...well tonight I met someone I thought was SUPER NIFTY!!!

YAY ME!!!

Ok, enough tomfoolery. There's one last cool thing that happened tonight.

In case you don't know this, salsa music has always intimidated me to the point that whenever I'm faced with dancing it I number one my pants. Tonigh however, my assigned DJ guy was playing awesome salsa music. The kind of salsa that makes you think that you can win an amateur televised dancing contest. So I grabbed my girl punching bag (the one that I feel comfortable dancing with) and I pulled her out to the dance floor. There I JUST went for it. (I've always known the basic step to salsa, but that's all I knew, which was pretty lame). I started doing the basic step, which is where I always got stuck, but then decided to just give the girl a spin. It worked! So I tried it again. And again. And again, and then my spins started to get more complicated, and then I started to incorporate some merengue in there, and then I started to just HAVE FUN!!!

(Luckily there wasn't a camera around, otherwise I might've ended up being disproved...)

So I taught myself how to dance salsa in one night. Interesting. Beat that MALE READERS!!!

Keeping it Simple

2008-07-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

You know, living in the suburbs, it's hard to see things for real. Like, FOR REAL!!!

Perhaps it is well known that in the suburbs there really isn't much to get worried about. However, for some reason there are gangsters there that like to show off their gangsterness. Or certain apples like to pass themselves off as watermelons. Trying to be something you're not NEVER ever impresses anyone. In fact, I think it does completely the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish.

Let me put it to you this way.

Have you ever had trix? I know I've never had. Trix is not a cereal that really attracts my attention. So I won't use Trix as an example. Rather, I'm going to use Fruity pebbles as my example. Fruity pebbles seems to me like one of those things that tries to pass itself off as something it's not. It just doesn't seem to me like something that is REAL! I mean, it's so colorful! But I KNOW that it doesn't come that way. They had to make like one batch of Fruity pebbles yellow and then they had to make another batch blue and another batch red etc. etc. etc. to get where thet are. So much complication for something that doesn't taste all that well!

KIX on the other hand is AWESOME! I LOVE kix!!! I would eat kix for breakfast lunch and/or dinner. (Sometimes I skip dinner). It's so simple! Make a little bolita and cover it in sugar and that's it! Kix TOTALLY owns frooty pebbles.

Plus there's the whole not being fake thing that I get from Kix and that I don't get from fruity pebbles.

That's how I want you people to be like. Be more like Kix and less like fruity pebbles. More realness would be nice.

Angry at People

2008-07-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about people that I am angry at.

I would like to not be angry at people, but it happens that some people behave in ways that just make me angry.

I can't tell you the whole story here on public blogivision, but I will give you an example on why I am mad.

Hmmmm....let me think....

Ok I think I got it.

Let's say I'm this apple tree. And I have apple kids. They all look up to me because I'm older than these apples and they can learn a thing or two about me.

Well one of my apples wants to mix its seeds with a watermelon. Me as the wise tree says that it's impossible because the watermelon is not part of our family. I give my little apple some advice and say that there are a lot of fruits that she can mix with. In fact she doesn't have to go too far. She can mix with GREEN apples or YELLOW apples. Why go outside of the family?

But my little apple wants to go outside of the family. So I don't want to seem like a jerk tree. So I say that there is the possibility that my little apple can mix with a peach or a pear. There's not that much difference between our families and it's POSSIBLE. But no, my little apple wants the watermelon.

And it's not that I'm being a jerk either! I'm saying these things because I've heard of apples that mix with watermelons, and they end up having bastard children that don't help the apple community in any way shape or form. (By the way, I mean bastard in the pure dictionary definition of the word and not in a derogatory way). The watermelons are then found doing things to make the apples do watermelonny things like growing on vines or trying to mature in an earlier season and stuff, and that is TOTALLY unacceptable in the apple community.

Plus it's not like there's only MY apple tree; there are a TON of apple trees so if my little apple doesn't find an apple around here to mix with, then she can move to the tree next door!!!

Plus the fact that I feel like my little apple is hiding things from me that I should know....

....grrrrrrrrrrr........

I'm not too happy with apples, and I'm ESPECIALLY not happy with a certain watermelon. I am gonna mutilate someone.... Grrrrrrr....

To My Beloved Puppy

2008-07-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

Dearly beloved, we are reading here today to honor an exceptional dog. One whose pawprint will remain in my heart forever.

Escaffandro Mendez was born August 23, 1998.

I first met Scoffi when I lived in Chicago. He was firstly owned by a little girl that was the daughter of one of my dad's coworkers. He was on a leash getting out of an SUV. He was so active and energized. When he got inside out huge front yard, I thought I had seen the coolest dog ever. He was super white, barely two months old, and was ready for action. He reminded me of a husky only smaller. I thought there was nothing neater ever.

The little girl gave him up and he became officially one of the family. He was an avid house protector back in his day. Since in Chicago there are sidewalks where you can walk to and fro, people that passed by would be scared to death and Scoffi ran as fast as he could, (which back in the day was EXTREMELY fast), to make sure they could not get in.

Once the mailman walked inside to deliver our letters (in Chicago mailmen walk instead of drive), and he was halfway out when he heard a faint growl and speedy scurry. He turned around and he realized he was in trouble. So he dropped all his letters and started running for the door, but it was too late. Luckily for him we had left a little rolling dinosaur at the front that was big enough for him to swap at our dog with. Ever since then Scoffi hated mailmen with a passion. The mere sight of a blue uniformed person was enough to drive him mad with anger.

Moving to Texas in 2003 posed a challenge to Scoffi. He was now confined to a super small backyard that was no where near the size of his previous roaming grounds. Still he took care of it, marking everything with his own personal scent that no one other than dogs could understand. (Sometimes even we could understand it but only when he was dehydrated).

This move eventually took its toll on Scoffi, making him gain 10 lbs more than he weighed, bringing his total weight up to 30 lbs. Eventually he realized that indoors was better than outdoors, and he forced us to make him a house dog. Perhaps......

...

...if we had resisted, he may still be with us today.

On the afternoon of July 8, 2008, a piercing yell filled the Mendez's backyard, as Abelito found Scoffi with his legs up in the air. His frirst reaction was to tell his sister Abby. In tears the both told us. Mode was the first one on the scene. He found Scoffi laying on his back with his limbs stiff and his purple tongue hanging out. As I rushed out to assess the damage, Mode tried to press up and down on his chest. There were some apparent grunts on Scoffi's part, which I would like to think was him still alive. It helps me think that I was there with him on his final moments. He passed away at 1:45 P.M. on July 08, 2008.

I will never forget his happy go lucky dog. In fact, he eventually got used to the idea that most humans were friendly towards the end of his life. That is how I would like to remember him. As the happiest, friendliest dog in the world.

May his sleep be pleasant, even though he may never wake up again...

Wedding Cage

2008-07-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I went to an engagement party. (It was kind of late because they've been engaged for a while but OH WELL!!!) Anywho, it turns out that I'm going to be in the wedding. I will be one of the guys that stands next to the groom. I forget what they are called because all I hear about in movies and stuff is the bridesmaids. I should probably learn what my title is before the wedding.

But as I sat there I was thinking about the whole getting married thing...

...but I thought about it a little too hard, and I started panicking.

I seriously SERIOUSLY did!!! I mean, I had the weirdest feeling of claustrophobia EVER! I've never had that feeling before! I was overwhelmed by this thought that I was going to be stuck with someone for the rest of my entire LIFE! Like there would be no salvation at all and that there was this endgame that was about to be played on a game that was super awesome to be over with.

I can't breathe!!!!

[inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale][inhale][exhale]

Ok, it's past....

...and then I realized, "Oh yeah! I'm not getting married!!!"

Yay!!!

That was really weird. Why would I get that feeling if I'm not even getting married! It was pretty bad but I got over it. And I enjoyed the party.

Oh and some girl kissed me. Oooh!!!

But it was a friend kiss on the cheek. So it meant nothing. Boooooooo.....

Doesn't it feel nice to be appreciated!?

Chicks With Long Hair

2008-07-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

So there's been this pet peeve that's been growing on me for a while now...

...chicks with long hair.

Don't get me wrong now! I HATE the Jamie Lee Curtis look, but C'MON! Sometimes girls need to CUT their HAIR!!! There ARE a few exceptions I'm willing to make though.

You have to be SUPER hot if you're going to grow your hair past your neck
I say this because, unfortunately, hot chicks are entitled to somethings due to their hotness. (Not really, but society forgives their silliness once it sees their face).
If you're not HOT but INSIST on having hair nearing your waist, PLEASE do something to it!
I see these girls that walk around with hair that is almost reaching their waist. Or is at least past their boobs. That is some seriously long hair. I mean, WHY WOULDN'T you want to CUT that???? Ok, ok, ok, I digress. I guess I don't want to sound like some old fart. You girls can do whatever you want. Hey, it doesn't really matter because it's all about you right? But if you really really REALLY want that long hair, don't have it all so that you look like you've been living in a hippie van for the longest time! (Unless you're GOING for the hippie look then whatever).

You're probably wondering why I'm ranting about this stuff. See, my sister won't get a haircut because she seems to be following a trend amongst her colleagues. The long hair because we're cool trend.

It's not one I favor if you can tell.

A Crappy Speech on My Future

2008-06-24T14:25:00.001-07:00

There is something that I've realized on the listening of a comedian that I've JUST discovered. This is horrible....

In this putrified horrible world, there is a small percentage of us humans that can do JUST about anything we put our minds to. I'm not going to hide it. I admit, I'm somewhat of a smart person. If I were to choose something to do and seriously think about it and learn it and do it, I would be able to do it....

...but alas, I am too lazy.

Check this guy out on Youtube: Demetri Martin

He I think is a smart guy. In fact there are a lot of things that he's learned to do. He has many useless talents, as do I. He has a HUGE addiction to puzzles that he does often. He makes his own puzzles and comes up with really long palindromes. (www.dictionary.com for you people).

I too enjoy many useless talents. (In fact I'm typing this sentence without looking at the keyboard!!!) Things that I am able to do due to my brain power. Our common flaw is that, perhaps not that we're lazy? but that we both lack the drive that many people have to see things done all the way through.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr........

I would LOVE to see something go through. I just can't do it! I get tired even of learning the COOLEST things ever! Take for example dancing.

Hey! Here's an AWESOME way to meet chicks. You impress them with your finesse, and you impress them with your awesome moves. Do I want to learn those moves? Heks yeah! What there are more moves? Um, ok? What... more moves... you know what? I think I'm going to sit this one out? Why?

...i don't know....

I just lost interest....

Which sucks because at this time in life, I should know what's going on. Where things are headed. But I don't...

...oh well. I think I'll think about that later. I'm hungry.

When There is a Woman inside of a Man

2008-06-18T13:53:00.000-07:00

Today is not a good day for me. I'm hoping to blow of some steam on you the reader. (If there IS anyone out there).

Bad day, bad day, bad day...

I'm not going to get into the details. This time I'm going to talk about the weirdness that is being a guy next to a girl that expects a guy to be psychic. Which by the ways, is the worst thing that a girl can be.

ANY guy that's ever had something with a girl will know that girl's have the tendency to think that guy's are supposed to know something, JUST BECAUSE. There's no reasoning behind it. It's ALWAYS something that guys are JUST SUPPOSED TO KNOW!

(In the best scenario a girl will get into a fight with the guy about this. In the worst scenario the girl leaves the guy and the guy never knew what happened. He never stood a chance. Actually in the REAL worst scenario the girl saws off the guy's limbs, but that's BESIDES the point).

What pisses ME off is when a guyA expects some OTHER guyB to know something when the guyB has no clue, and a big MESS happens and something that is somewhat important doesn't get done.... Why does that piss me off you may wonder. Well, see, guys are supposed to know when someone else is stupid enough to NOT know something and thereby make sure that things get done right by explaining things thoroughly.

NOT FREAKING ACT LIKE A GIRL AND EXPECT THINGS TO HAPPEN AUTOMATICALLY!!!

I HATE that about girls, WHY would I like guys that act like that.

Anywho, that's my rant for today. You all have a SUPER rest of the day.

Malware Sucks - Power of the Unknowns!!!

2008-06-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

As I write this in the comfortability and simplicity of beloved notepad, my friend Norton will not let me open internet browsers because it is busy scanning away, looking for the evil viruses. Yes, I've been forced to live (type) in hiding due to the maliciousness of some people who want MONEY!

Ugh... I hate malware...

This blog is to give you readers WARNINGS about the horribility that is being a bad person.
This all started this morning as I was surfing YouTube. I ran across the Pork and Beans video by Weezer. Man, that is an AWESOME SONG! And an awesome video at that. (If you haven't seen it, it's a video that has a gajillion weblebrities singing Weezer's new song. My favorite one is the black guy that's doing like, a karate audition?, and falls badly but still tries to play it off, horribly I might add). Then an EVIL idea that must NEVER be repeated again, came to my head....

...I want this song for free...

Ah the life of being a pirate! It's magnificent thinking about all the great things you can do whilst a pirate. Not to mention all the free booty! ;)
Of course pork and beans, being a new song, is not found high quality easily. I still tried to though. My first obvious choice is to go to these P2P networks where you can find mostly anything! (I'm not sharing these with you! You're CRAZY!) Yeah, I looked there and of course there are dummy links. I think the artists or other anti-piracy people load these up there. You can always recognize these because when you start downloading these, they will never come. You stay there waiting and nothing will happen.

Boo...

So after going through these, usually my next bet is to go through the porn-ridden torrent websites. Yeah, I hate them. The amount of pop ups are humongous here that even pop up blockers will miss one or two. That's prolly what I liked about Mozilla. It has a good pop up blocker. But I've been disillusioned........ I'm going back to IE. I'll explain in a sec.

But yeah I USUALLY would look for my music there, but I had a bad near infection experience there last time. Notably, the crappy website called http://www.mininova.com/ . Looking for torrents there (because it's porn free [angel choirs]) I ran across coldplay's new album. Yay!!! Methinks I will love this.

So i downloaded it and it was a total knock off. Quite lame if you ask me. It had a weird exgtension file name, I DON'T KNOW. The point is that it was a trick to have u download the only program that will open that file type. Can it scream infection any louder.... (I can't remember the program's name or the extension but I had researched it and it was a dangerous thing to have. Perhaps I will find it later and twitter it).

So this morning I decided to skip the torrent route. Instead I went for the free mp3 site.

[PSYCHO MUSIC]

These are the worst of the worst sites ever to visit. I KNEW THIS! But I went anyway. Why? I wanted my pork and beans. So I visited this ONE site that had Never failed me. EVER! I SEMITRUSTED this mp3 site out of all the OTHER sites!!! (Actually come to think about it, it WAS the worst site pop up ads-wise and virus/spyware wise, so the reason I visited it was proabably because the chances of me finding my mp3 was very good). ANYWHO! The site is http://www.emp3%20finder.com/ . DO NOT VISIT THIS SITE!!! It was a cool site back in its hayday, but now it SUCKS! It's HORRIBLE! I hate it! It's THE WORST SITE IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND! I WISH IT WAS DEAD! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Yeah, so don't go there.

It was so quick too! I searched on the search bar pork and beans and it came up and it told me to wait 15 seconds so I did. Then the pork and beans page came and I downloaded the file on it. Then all my windows abruptly closed and my wallpaper had changed to a blue with a flashing sign on it that said "Your Computer is Infected with Malware. Malware Protector 2008 will scan your computer for infections". Then this scanner popped up on my screen that said "Scanning your Files for Malware". It looked just like any other scanner. Then it made me mad by saying "Thank you for installing Malware Protector 2008". I DIDN'T INSTALL YOU!!!!

Now note that this is taking place in an EXTREMELY SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. So far I've described probably 5 seconds of what's taking place.

So then I glance over to the scanner again, and it's barely scanned 3000 files, but It's AMAZINGLY already found 144 infections, at which point I stop the scanning. Now Malware sweeps me off my feet by telling me that it can't get rid of the infections until I buy it. There's no contact information, at all. It just wants me to buy it.

Such great salesmanship!!! I had to pass up the opportunity though.

So I go to Control Panel and I pull up Add/Remove Programs. Find Malware, and instruct my computer to delete it. It then TRIED to, but failed. It was still there. So then I go to the Malware folder and use the uninstaller that came with it, but it too didn't work. All the meantime the flashing background in my desktop is telling me to that my computer is infected.
REALLY! I HADN'T NOTICED!!!!!!

So then I start manually deleting Malware. I go into the folder where it's at and of course, I can't delete it because it's being used by another program...

So I was really scrood. Then I remembered that a while back I had installed a program that was WAY too dangerous to mess with. It was a universal uninstaller. It's REALLY handy to have. If you want it, (and I TOTALLY recommend it!) it's called Revo Uninstaller. It's really dangerous if you don't know what you're doing because it can destroy ANY file you tell it to. It's not that hard to understand, so intermediate computer usage is preferable.

So I pull out MAH GUN and I start working on the Malware program. Since it seemed to hide from it, I turned on Hunter mode. Hunter mode basically makes your mouse pointer a gun visor and you point at the program that you want to kill. (Yes I think you can point at something legitimate and kill it too). So using my expert, video game trained pointing skills, I point at malware and it starts deleting all the files relating to them.

That slowed my infection down a little...

...then came the creepy screensaver.

Although Revo had uninstalled everything relating to Malware, it didn't bother too much with other files that weren't SUPER related to it, as it thought this screensaver wasn't. So I had left my computer for like three minutes, and when I came back, THERE WERE BUGS CRAWLING ON MY DESKTOP! They were SO REALISTIC TOO! They were just there. Walking on my screen. (It looked like shadows too. So it gave me the impression that they were on the other side of my screen). AAAAH! At first I did think they were real. Then I noticed that they were TOO clear for them to be real. Then I moved my mouse and they all dissappeared.

That was creepy....

...and now my computer is running EXTREMELY slow and it's scaring me....

...I'm trying to change the screensaver and the tab for it has been removed...

...I've taken the hard decision to restore my computer to a previous point now. So I go to the restore function available in the system tools, ONLY TO FIND THAT ALL RESTORE POINTS HAVE BEEN DELETED!!!

Time to cry. Time to cry. There's nothing left to do. I give up....

I did try to run Spy Doctor and it detected 69 infections off of one trojan alone. It detected 3 trojans, and 5 spyware infections... Plus an undefined threat..... hmmmm...
THEN I REMEMBERED SOMETHING!!! I HAD BOUGHT NORTON 360!!! I reinstalled it, through a PAINSTAKING PROCEDURE, and started running the scanner on quick scan. It immediately destroyed two viruses. That helped a little. Then I updated its virus definitions and it had to restart. So I then ran the full scan. It is still running as of this moment. So far the stats show that it has deleted 6 viruses. 1 malicious software program has been blocked.

Grrrrrr.....

I think the biggest slap to me here was that I trusted Mozilla Firefox on this. Usually it would warn me when there might be a threat. Also it's SUPPOSED to be a super safe browser. Yeah, it could rot in heck for all I care. I just wish there was something I could do to bring all of these people down...

...don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry......

So yeah. Here we are. The moral of this ongoing story is that you CAN'T NOT SUFFER CONSEQUENCES!!! So be careful guys.

2008-02-27T14:52:00.000-08:00

So there we go. Bye bye high school. No more hanging out and having fun and stuff. Now it's time to do whatever it is adults do. Drink is it?

Perhaps this is where I introduce me as a handsome, good looking, nineteen year old who is fascinated by cultural arts and all the sciences (which include social sciences as well)! But alas, this writer is an OK looking nineteen year old who is fascinated by the art of rock much to the begrudgement of my parents who think that rock is supposed to be able to be danced to. But I AM fascinated by social sciences! (That is if you think social means partying, which I LOVE!) Freakin awesome.

At the moment there is little to say about life. I will allow one to know about the meaning of monkey later on.